101 Dummest moments in business.
click here to see more dummest (I know how to spell it) moments in business.
Why are we so stoopid? (thanks Penny)
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something
new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give
the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?"
Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife
told you to do it?
And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering
from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're
okay, then it's you.
Prince Charles said Thursday he will marry his divorced lover Camilla
Parker Bowles in April, putting an official seal on a long romance that
Princess Diana blamed for the breakdown of her tempestuous marriage to
the heir to the throne. The announcement ruled out the possibility that
she would become queen.
This week in music history:
1964, Four lads from Liverpool known as The Beatles make their live American TV debut on The Ed Sullivan Show, reaching the eyes and ears of over 70 million viewers, the largest television audience ever recorded at the time ... the show receives over 50,000 requests for tickets...
1967, working on a tip, British police raid a party at Redlands, the English estate of Keith Richards, searching for illegal drugs ... police find amphetamine pills in singer Mick Jagger's coat and charge him with possession ... Richards is charged with allowing his home to be used for drug-taking, and a third guest is charged with heroin possession ... Richards spends one night in jail, Jagger gets two ... at trial four months later, both Stones are found guilty and given stiff sentences ... the London Times gets behind the two rockers, questioning the severity of the sentences in a series of editorials ... due to the media pressure, Richard's conviction is quashed on appeal, and Jagger's prison sentence is reduced to a conditional discharge ... Aretha Franklin records her hit single "Respect" at New York's Atlantic Studios ... written by Otis Redding, the record will sell over a million copies and top the Billboard Hot 100 chart for two weeks on its way to becoming both an American classic and Aretha's biggest hit...
1972, former Beatle Paul McCartney's new band Wings, featuring his wife Linda and former Moody Blues singer Denny Laine, among others, plays its first concert at Nottingham University in the UK ... upon arriving in Singapore to kick off their first Pacific tour, the members of Led Zeppelin are denied entry into the country on account of their long hair ... the hairstyles are viewed as a threat to the conservative goverment's campaign to reduce the influence of Western culture on its citizens ... the band is not permitted to exit the plane, and is forced to return to London immediately ... the tour begins later in the week in Perth, Australia...
1975, Cher's eponymous TV show debuts a year after her divorce from Sonny Bono ... the premiere episode guest stars Elton John, Bette Midler, and comedian Flip Wilson ... Cher's exposed navel generates much press, as this is a first for American television ... the show will last only one season...
1981, Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd's eighth LP, becomes the longest-charting album ever at 402 consecutive weeks in the Top 200 Albums chart ... the album will stay on the charts for another 189 weeks, for a total of nearly 11 consecutive years in the Top 200 ... rumor has it that at one point one Capitol Records plant presses nothing but DSOTM discs ... the album will enjoy a resurgence years later, when someone with too much time on his hands realizes that when the CD is synced to The Wizard of Oz, there are a number of musical and lyrical coincidences ... the band denies that the album and film are connected in any way whatsoever, and since VCRs and CD players had yet to become readily available when the album was recorded in 1973, it appears to be no more than coincidence...
1982, the 300-pound marble slab that marks the grave of former Lynyrd Skynyrd singer Ronnie Van Zant is stolen in Orange Park, Florida ... it is recovered by police two weeks later in a dried-up river bed nearby...
1986, in an odd pop-culture pairing, Culture Club singer Boy George guest stars on an episode of the popular TV show The A-Team, which stars Mr. T, among others ... in the episode, Boy is mistakenly booked as country singer Cowboy George at one of the toughest dance halls in the West ... Culture Club performs...
1992, Vince Neil is fired as Motley Crue's lead singer after recording sessions for a new album turn ugly ... he is replaced by John Corabi, formerly of The Scream ... the resulting album, Motley Crue, goes on to be a commercial disappointment for the band ... Neil will reunite with the Crue in 1997...
1997, U2 announces its upcoming Popmart Tour from where else? K-Mart, of course ... The band's press conference, held in the lingerie department of a Manhattan K-Mart, is a raucous affair, including a performance of the B-side "Holy Joe," as well as the lowdown on the high-tech tour, which will include a giant lemon mirrorball, a 12-foot stuffed olive on a 100-foot toothpick, a towering 100-foot golden arch, and the world's largest-ever LED screen ... guitarist The Edge tells reporters "We believe in kitsch. That's what we are up to at the moment" ... the "King of Pop", Michael Jackson, and his wife Debbie Rowe, welcome their first child at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles ... the child is fittingly named Prince Michael Joseph Jackson II...
2000, during a performance by the Isley Brothers dubbed the Valentine's Super Love Jam at the L.A. Sports Arena, an LAPD officer shoots and kills a 24-year-old man who has allegedly wounded three people near a concession stand ... though the performers and audience have no idea what has transpired, the show is eventually canceled...
BIRTHDAYS:
February 9: Ernest Tubb (1914), Carole King born Carole Klein (1942), Dennis Thomas of Kool & the Gang (1951), Travis Tritt (1963)
February 10: Jimmy Durante (1893), Don Wilson of The Ventures (1937), Roberta Flack (1939), James Merchant of Frankie Lymon & The Teenagers (1940), Donovan born Donovan Phillip Leitch (1946), Robbie Neville (1961), Cliff Burton (1962)
February 11: Tex Beneke (1914), Josh White (1915), Gene Vincent born Eugene Vincent Craddock (1935), songwriter Gerry Goffin (1939), Bobby "Boris" Pickett (1940), Sergio Mendes (1941), Elvis imitator Ral Donner (1943), blues singer Little Johnny Taylor (1948), Sheryl Crow (1962), D'Angelo (1974), Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park (1977), Brandy (Brandy Norwood) (1979), Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child (1981)
February 12: Gene McDaniels (1935), Ray Manzarek of The Doors (1935), Stan Knight of Black Oak Arkansas (1949), Steve Hackett of Genesis (1950), Chynna Phillips of Wilson-Phillips (1968), Barenaked Lady Jim Creeggan (1970)
February 13th: Tennessee Ernie Ford (1919), songwriter Boudleaux Bryant (1920), Gene Ames of The Ames Brothers (1925), Peter Tork of the Monkees (1942), Peter Gabriel (1950), New Order's Peter Hook (1956), Henry Rollins (1961), The Cult's Les Warner (1961)
February 14: keyboardist Merl Saunders (1934), Magic Sam born Sam Maghett (1937), Eric Anderson (1937), Vic Briggs of The Animals (1945), Tim Buckley (1947), Roger Fisher of Heart (1950), Ice-T (1959), Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas (1972)
February 15th: Brian Holland of Motown's Holland, Dozier, Holland writing team (1941), Mick Avory of The Kinks (1944), John Helliwell of Supertramp (1945), David Brown of Santana (1947), Melissa Manchester (1951), Mikey Craig of Culture Club (1960), Ali Campbell of UB40 (1969), Brandon Boyd of Incubus (1976)
Deaths:
February 9: Reverend James Cleveland (1991), Bill Haley (1981)
February 10: '60s NY folkie and Dylan mentor Dave Van Ronk (2002), saxophonist Buddy Tate (2001), Brian Connolly of Sweet (1997)
February 11: jazz pianist Jaki Byard (1999)
February 12: pianist Eubie Blake (1983)
February 13: Waylon Jennings (2002)
February 14th: Doug Weston, operator of The Troubadour in L.A. (1999)
February 15th: Ethel Merman (1984), Mike Bloomfield (1981), Little Walter (1968), Nat King Cole (1965)
An interesting bit of information on the Beatles:
The Beatles wanted to buy an island in '67, on which to live, partly because "Harold Wilson's taxing us something rotten". Alistair Taylor found an island for £90,000 that included four beaches, olive groves, half a dozen tall Greek houses, boats, businesses, and a gently curving bay. British law prohibited its citizens from taking large sums of money out of the country, and the same law applies to spending money on property abroad. One must purchase currency called property dollars from the British government and pay with those. After applying for the £90,000 in property notes the government turned down their request. Eventually the government did agree (but to a maximum of £90,000) and sold them to the Beatles at a premium of a certain percent. The limit of £90,000 meant that there would not be cash available to furnish and improve the island. Alistair was in negotiations with the government to increase the limit when the Beatles decided to cancel the project. The property dollars were sold back to the government at a profit of six or seven percent because the premium rate on the dollars had gone up since their purchase (Taylor, A. 85, 87, and 93).
For more interesting Beatles stuff, click here.
