the Life and Times of Brad part 5

Ugg Boot

What a wonderful trip I just took. Being that the future me told me the secret of time and space, I was off on my own adventure. He told me only enough to go back to this date in history and future. I wasn't told how to jump around to different days. That will come later, I was assured.
My first stop was in the year 1539. It's freezing cold. The wind is blowing the snow so hard that you can't hardly see your hand in front of your face. A violent storm is coming. Lightning is abundent. I'm trying to take a good look around but can only see the slight outline of a tall building. St Jacobs church is then struck by lightning. Everyone is shocked by the incredible boom. I then realize that the firetrucks aren't coming. A few try to battle the burning church using buckets of water. Soon the water supply has been exhausted. I don't mean it was tired, it was gone. So was the church after only a short time.

I then arrived in Washington D.C. in the year 1848. I'm standing outside the whitehouse. It appears to be a little smaller than in the year 2005. I hear a few people talking about lighting in the white house. I can see the candle flicker through the windows. Then the flicker gets brighter and more constant. As it turns out, President Polk has had gas lighting installed in the white house. Here's to a brighter future.

Back in my home state but a different time. It's New Orleans in 1930. I'm standing at the edge of the Mississippi. I can't believe the vehicles I'm seeing. If you know me, you know that I have a passion for antique cars. If only I could take one back with me. I see a man swimming towards me. I go to the banks of the Mississippi and help him out of the water. He shook my hand. "Fred Newton" he said and I introduced myself. He told me of his swimming trip. He said he started swimming in Ford Dam MN and swam until he reached New Orleans. 1826 miles he swam. "Impossible" I said to him. I then began to tell him about my trip, as I call it. "and you say my swim was impossible?" With that remark, I knew it was time to get away from there.

My travels are tiring sometimes.

the Life and Times of Brad part 4

Ugg Boot

December 22.
How do I begin to describe today. I met someone you've all heard of but who died in 1931. Let me tell you the story. My phone rang this morning letting me know to expect a visitor shortly. With a knock on the door, I peeked out to see what I could see. A man stood at my door wearing a brown hat, leather jacket, blue jeans, and normal tennis shoes. Nothing interesting there. I answered the door and stood there as if life were frozen. I felt myself get heavy. I didn't think I couldn't support my own weight much longer. I melted into a near chair. It was me but not me. He began to tell me, I guess I should say I began to tell me a story that I simply couldn't believe. It is not possible. Time is relative. I've read about Einsteins theory but it's just that, a theory. He told me of traveling in and out of present, past, and future. Anyone who knows me would agree. I don't believe something just because someone told me it was true, but this was a little different. It was me telling me about it. How could I not trust myself?
"Prove it." I said as if to challenge and quench my curiosity. "You'd better put something warm on." He muttered a few words and with a blink of an eye, we were in a different setting altogether. I was tanding on a strange street in the blistering cold. I looked around in amazement. Horses everywhere and no cars. How odd. I told me that we were in the year 1882 in Menlo Park California and we were going to see something amazing. He knocked on the door of the nearest house. It was a two story, shotgut type house with columns in front. A man wearing tattered clothing let us in. The man in the corner didn't notice us for a while. He was fooling around with some light bulbs on a string of wire. Immediately it dawned on me. He was working on christmas lights. After a while he saw us watching him work and sort of smiled. "Good morning" he said in an extremely loud voice. As I spoke to him I noticed he was watching my lips as I spoke. When I was done he nodded and continued to work. I asked what he was working on and got no reply at all. Was he deep in thought or deaf. I asked again and still, no reply. Another man in the room told me he was nearly deaf. I decided to just watch him work. After a while, I saw something that made me homesick. He turned on his project and smiled as all of the lights shined. How is all of this possible. As suddenly as we had arrived in 1882, we were back in 2005.


(I checked when I got back to the year in which I was originally in and found this: 1882 1st string of Christmas tree lights created by Thomas Edison) Look at the first electrically lit christmas tree.

the Life and Times of Brad part 3

Ugg Boot

In the middle of a dream, I found myself uptight. It was a friday afternoon. My ex and her sister were there. They say we're going to visit an old friend and we end up at a house that I'm unfamiliar with. I remember talking to several people that, being awake, I realize are unknown to me. Suddenly, without warning, things started to fade to black. I remember seeing my ex's sister smile..............

"Wake up!!!! you don't have much time!!!" I remember hearing. Was it the voice within? Then it spoke those words again. This time I knew I wasn't alone. I tried to open my eyes but the bright light hurt with a pain I have never felt. I closed my eyes and was out once again. My next memory is someone helping me outside. I still couldn't open my eyes. I asked if it was still friday because I had plans for saturday night. "It's friday but it's been a week since you were awake last." He started explaining that he was me, just an older me. An uneasy feeling crept over me. I was put in the front seat of a car and I was out once again.

I woke up to the sound of my family talking. I opened my eyes and was met with a jolt of pain. After a few seconds my eyes began to adjust to the light but still hurt unbelievably. Everything was blurry. I asked where I was and was told that I was in the hospital. I remember them speaking of my vision but couldn't comprehend the conversation. I had been poisoned!!!!

After a few days I began to become more aware of my surroundings as the drugs were wearing off. My eyes didn't hurt like before. They asked if I knew who brought me to the hospital? "I brought me to the hospital" I said. "The drugs still haven't worn off" they said. I tried to explain to them that the other me, the older me, had brought me to the hospital. I couldn't remember anymore about the man who rescued me. They were beginning to think the poison had given me brain damage. Anyone who knows me will surely tell you that I don't need poison or anything else for that matter to qualify as being brain damaged.

My hospital stay was something to the effect of 3 weeks. Almost daily I spoke to police about the incident. My eyes were slowly getting better. The doctors said I'd have to wear shades in the daytime whenever I'm outside but otherwise my eyes would be fine. I woke up late one night, or was it early one morning? Anyway, I woke up to an almost totally dark room. I could, however, see the hospital door. Under the door I could see a shadow coming closer. Was it the person who poisoned me? I began to breath faster. Trying to yell for help but nothing happened. I reached for the button that would reach the nurse. As the door slowly opened I hit the button. Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! My alarm was telling me it was time to get up.

the Life and Times of Brad part 2

Ugg Boot

Diary December 13
Well, it happened again today. I wake up as usual and start getting ready. The phone rings. I hear "Don't leave until 8 o'clock" in a voice I recognize but that is different than the one from yesterday. Keep in mind that I'm getting dressed with one eye still closed as to steal as much sleep as much as possible. Not remembering yesterday at all, I ask what he's talking about. Then Paul laughs and I remember the events of yesterday. I wonder at all if he believes me about the phone call and the other strange events that happened before he came over. Have I lost my mind? Should I make my reservation at Bellevue? Surely not.

I almost forgot to mention what happened last night. I had to gather some wood for my fireplace having bought a new fire extinguisher that now waits patiently for my next mishap. As I walked through the darkness with my trusty flashlight, I had the feeling as if I were being followed and at the same time as if I were following someone. De Javu. As quickly as this feeling came over me, it was gone. That reservation at Bellevue might not be such a bad thing to look into. I gathered my wood in a most cautious way, keeping watch for who knows what. As I walk into the house with the little firewood I collected, the phone rings. What is it with the phone? It rings and rings and rings. So I answer it and hear a playful voice on the other end. It's the caller from yesterday morning, I immediately realize. With a laugh he says, "Bellevue? you're not crazy." Fear was surrounding me. Then I thought, this is it, I'm nuts. "Did everything work out okay earlier with the fire?" I couldn't answer. I was desparately trying to solve this riddle. Who was on the other end of the line. Someone upset with me? Someone trying to help me? Someone watching me? Surely someone would have more to do than to watch me. Finally realizing that I have to speak, I ask "Who is this?"...... After a few seconds, he says "it's you". "It's me?" Yeah right. Now I'm talking to myself on the phone? I've heard of talking to oneself but on the phone? Call Bellevue quick.

the Life and Times of Brad part 1

Ugg Boot

Diary December 12
I received a strange phone call early this morning. "Don't leave for work until 8." It was a voice I had heard before but could not place. As quickly as I was awakend, I was deep asleep again. I got up at my usual time and dressed myself for work, singing along with Dean Martin's I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm . It was unusually cold this morning and the fire was cozy. Wouldn't you know it, I couldn't find my car keys. I left them on the table as usual, or so I thought. After searching for a few minutes I found everything from a pinball machine key to a spark plug wire. That's very odd. As I put my hands in my pocket, I found that all this time, my keys were hiding in my jacket pocket. Now I'm late for sure. I just hope my truck starts.
After several minutes of trying to start my truck, I popped the hood. Then I noticed a spark plug wire was missing. This will not do. Wait a minute!!! I found a spark plug wire this morning while looking for my keys. But where??? I tear my house apart once more looking for a spark plug wire. It's 7:45. I should've been gone a long time ago. Finally, I found the spark plug wire. Why on earth would someone play this kind of joke on me? Paul came to mind. He's always playing pranks on me. Like the one time when, due to my extreme fear of snakes, I had Paul kill a snake that was slithering on my front porch. I tell him to get rid of it so I don't have to see it. Where did I see the snake again? In the bed of my truck. He got a good laugh out of that one. Or the time that he put a House for Sale sign in my yard. That wasn't funny at all. Well, it was pretty funny. Anyway, this had to be one of Pauls pranks.
I put the spark plug back on my truck and the engine cranks right up. Whew! It's ten till eight. I'm gonna be so late for work. Then I saw smoke through the living room window. I thought that somehow the fireplace wasn't venting properly. As I open the door I see that a log had fallen off of the fire and had ignited the floor and wall next to the fireplace. It was getting out of control fast. As I scramble to find something to put out the fire, I hear a vehicle racing up my driveway. Paul's here. In a flash, Paul is helping me battle the fire. Then I hear the fire truck siren. "Wow, that was fast" I said to Paul, "I didn't call the fire department. I wonder who called them?"
That's when the confusion started. "What are you talking about?" Paul said "you called me 10 minutes ago and said your house was on fire. I called the fire department." After only a few mintues, the fire department had the fire out. With only very minor damage, I thank the fire department. They give me a lecture about fireplace safety and are on their way. I look at my watch again. It's 8:00. As Paul and I talk about the fire, I ask him again about the call I, as he said, I made to him earlier. He was sure it was me. Then I remember the phone call that woke me up. Someone is playing a horrible prank on me. It has to be. The phone call, the missing keys, the missing spark plug wire, the 8 am fire, the call to Paul. What a horrible prank. If it weren't a prank, why would someone tell me not to leave until 8?
I count my blessing that the damage wasn't bad and head to work. Atleast I have an excuse for why I'm late now.

Tune in tomorrow for more excitement for the partially fictional blog book the Life and Times of Brad

One Moment in Time

Ugg Boot

We have but one moment in time. People come, people go. Wars are won and lost. Lives begin and end.

Happy Birthday Frank Sinatra
We'll miss you Richard Pryor

What happened today?

1098 - First Crusade: Massacre of Ma'arrat al-Numan - Crusaders breach the town's walls and massacre about 20,000 inhabitants. After finding themselves with insufficient food, they resort to cannibalism.

1913 - The Mona Lisa is recovered in Florence, two years after it was stolen, when Vincenzo Peruggia attempts to sell the painting.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Ugg Boot

Christmas must see movies:
1. the Lemon Drop Kit with Bob Hope introduced the song Silver Bells to the world
2. Holiday Inn with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire introduced the song White Christmas to the world. It was the all time best selling song until Princess Diana's death and the song Candle in
the wind by Elton John.
3. White Christmas with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye
4. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase
5. Ernest Saves Christmas with Jim Varney. Gotta see it, knowhatimean?

*Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

*Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

*Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when  you see one tumble down the stairs.

*Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in a hospital,
dying of nothing.

*All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention
to criticism.

*Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut
saves you thirty cents?

*In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

*We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among
the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue
as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. 
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
immigration.

This is the week that was in matters musical...

1842, formed by a group of local musicians, the New York Philharmonic gives its first concert...

1957, Al Priddy, a disc jockey at station KEX in Portland, Oregon, is fired for playing the Elvis Presley's version of "White Christmas" ... the station had instituted a ban against the song...

1964, original blue-eyed soul singers The Righteous Brothers release the Phil Spector produced-mega-hit "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" ... besides being deliriously catchy with an instantly memorable melody, the song delivers several firsts ... it is the first four-minute single to hit number one in the U.S. and the first tune produced by Spector to top the charts in England ... Spector refused to cut the song to the under three-minute time required for radio ... instead the last two digits of the running time were reversed to appear as 3:05 ... it took programming directors weeks to discover why shows were suddenly running long ... the trick worked, though, as "Lovin' Feelin'" was already a hit and in demand...

1961, The Beatles sign with manager Brian Epstein...

1964, John Coltrane records "A Love Supreme" with his quartet...

1964, Sam Cooke is shot and beaten to death by a motel manager in Los Angeles ... Cooke was apparently running amok wearing only a sport coat and shoes ... he was chasing a young woman who had fled his room with his clothes after he had assaulted her ... in pursuit Cooke broke open the door to the manager's office door resulting in her shooting him three times and then beating Cooke for good measure ... he is dead when police arrive...

1967, Otis Redding is killed when his tour plane crashes into Lake Monona near Madison, Wisconsin ... the "Love Man" is 26 ... killed with Redding are the pilot and four members of his backup group, the Bar-Kays ... the scheduled warm-up band for Redding's show that evening is a group called The Grim Reaper...

1968, The Rolling Stones film Rock & Roll Circus in front of a live audience in London ... the circus performers include The Rolling Stones, The Who, Marianne Faithful, Jethro Tull, and temporary rock supergroup Dirty Mac, consisting of John Lennon, Mitch Mitchell, Eric Clapton, and Keith Richards ... Yoko Ono makes an appearance on one Dirty Mac tune ... the rock-concert extravaganza was intended for broadcast as a television special, but never made it ... the film would not see release until 1996...

1969, Jimi Hendrix takes the stand in the Toronto Supreme Court at his trial for possession of hashish and heroin ... Hendrix testifies that he has smoked pot four times and hashish five times, taken LSD five times, and sniffed cocaine twice but says he has "outgrown" drugs ... the jury finds him not guilty after eight hours of deliberation...

1971, Frank Zappa is pushed off stage at the Rainbow Theatre in London ... Zapp gets the shove from the jealous boyfriend of an ardent young fan ... Frank suffers a broken leg, broken ankle, fractured skull, and crushed larynx, but it's the damage to his spine which keeps him in a wheelchair for most of the year...

1980, John Lennon is assassinated in New York City on the street outside his apartment...

1984, various popular artists, who are part of Bob Geldof's Band-Aid rock charity, release the well-intentioned, but campy, single "Do They Know It's Christmas?"...

1991, Rita Marley is finally awarded Bob Marley's contested estate after years of legal wrangling ... as a result of the verdict famous Marley son Ziggy names his daughter Justice...

1993, Guns N' Roses announce they will keep the song "Look At Your Game, Girl" written by Charles Manson on their album The Spaghetti Incident? ... the band decides to leave the song on the album when they learn the royalties will go to the son of one of Manson's victims...

1998, Cuban-born jazz trumpeter Arturo Sandoval becomes a naturalized citizen of the United States after a six-year struggle with the Immigration and Naturalization Service...

1998, Frank Sinatra's FBI file is released to the public by the Bureau ... it contains 2,403 pages documenting assorted sordid Sinatra facts like his close connections with organized crime and well-hidden arrest records...

1998, Greg Dulli of the Afghan Whigs is injured in a brawl outside the Liberty Lunch nightclub ... the band has just finished a show inside the Austin, Texas, club when the singer gets into a fight with one of the club's security guards ... Dulli ends up in the hospital for a few days with a fractured skull...

2000, Metallica sues Neiman-Marcus, Bergdorf Goodman, and Guerlain, Inc. for trademark infringement ... the three companies are producing and selling a perfume branded Metallica...

2003, Ozzy Osbourne is crushed under the all-terrain vehicle he is riding at his country estate in Buckinghamshire, England ... the accident puts him in the hospital for nearly a month recovering from injuries that include a fractured left collarbone, eight fractured ribs, and crushed neck vertebrae ... he awakes from a coma-like condition with no sense of smell or taste, convinced he has been in a bomb blast in Wales while touring with his band...

2004, Damageplan and ex-Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell is shot to death at a Columbus, Ohio, nightclub ... Damageplan has just started their show when a crazed fan runs onstage and shoots Dimebag ... the shooter then kills a band roadie and two fans ... a hostage situation is ended when a local police officer enters the backstage area and shoots the assailant, killing him...