He Has Two? She Has Two?

Ugg Boot

An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life. Luck lands in his lap, literally, and he want surgery to correct it?

Islamic clerics in eastern India have ruled that a woman divorced by her husband in a fit of drunkenness can remarry him only after she takes another husband for one day.

A man angry at firefighters who refused to rescue a cat from a tree was arrested after he started shooting at the fire crew.

Mathematician May Have Solved 100-Year-Old Problem. You should really read about this. A reclusive Russian won an academic prize Tuesday for work toward solving one of history's toughest math problems, but he refused to accept the award — a stunning renunciation of accolades from the top minds in his field.

The British Library has bought a valuable archive from the family of Samuel Taylor Coleridge that portrays the clan's affectionate, if slightly bemused, view of its "presiding genius."

Chewing gum, toothpaste and deodorant might soon contain beneficial bacteria to fight tooth decay and underarm stench.

They have dozens of bone fragments. They have a hatchet. They have a man in jail who claims to have killed seven men and scattered their remains across his rural property.

A tiny ant has the fastest jaw in the animal kingdom — literally quicker than the blink of an eye.

A U.S. Baptist preacher has publicly defended himself for firing a female Sunday School teacher after more than 50 years on the job because he believes the Bible bans women from teaching men. Makes sense to me.

Joe Walsh gets a chance to rock with James Gang. How cool is that? Very cool indeed.

Today in History:
565 - St. Columba reported seeing a monster in Loch Ness, Scotland
1485 - The Battle of Bosworth Field decisively ends the Wars of the Roses
1654 - Jacob Barsimson arrives in New Amsterdam. He is the first Jewish immigrant to what is later the United States
1770 - James Cook's expedition lands on the east coast of Australia
1775 - King George III declares the American colonies to be in open rebellion
1780 - James Cook's ship Resolution returns to England (Cook having been killed on Hawaii during the voyage)
1864 - Twelve nations sign the First Geneva Convention. The Red Cross is formed.
1901 - Cadillac Motor Company founded.
1902 - Theodore Roosevelt became the first President of the United States to ride in an automobile
1911 - Theft of the Mona Lisa is discovered
1962 - An attempt to assassinate French president Charles de Gaulle fails. Take that stupids.
1969 - Elvis Presley begins performing live again in Las Vegas
1970 - Neil Young released his album, After The Gold Rush.
1973 - U.S. President Richard Nixon names Henry Kissinger as Secretary of State.
1979 - Led Zeppelin released their album, In Through The Out Door.
1989 - The first ring of Neptune is discovered
2004 - The Scream, the painting by Edvard Munch, is stolen at gunpoint from a museum in Oslo, Norway.

Happy Birthday:
1834 - Samuel Pierpont Langley, American astronomer, physicist, inventor, aviation pioneer (d. 1906)
1917 - John Lee Hooker, American guitarist and singer (d. 2001)
1947 - Donna Godchaux, singer (Grateful Dead)
1958 - Vernon Reid, American musician (Living Colour)
1963 - Tori Amos, American singer, songwriter, and pianist
1967 - Layne Staley, American musician (Alice in Chains) (d. 2002)

What Happened to Thursday?

Ugg Boot

Oops! I gave away Batmans hideout. Gripes!

A New Mexico woman is suing 20th Century Fox Film Corporation alleging she was defrauded out of $4.4 million she was entitled to receive for the popular 1960s "Batman" television series.

This is proof that gas prices are taking their toll on everyone.

Naked performance with dead pig branded "sick".

A woman is suing the J.C. Penney Co. after an alleged run-in with a store mannequin that she says left her with a cracked tooth, a bloodied head and recurring shoulder pain.

Soldiers were on 24-hour guard at the Taj Mahal after officials received a letter threatening to blow up the monument.

Woman accused of heroin-soaked panties.

It might sound like a chocoholic's dream, but stepping into a vat of chocolate became a two-hour nightmare for a 21-year-old man Friday morning.

In my search of neat historical facts, I came across something about burning bras. I looked for more information and found this. Do you see why I like history?

Today in History:
1587 - Virginia Dare, granddaughter of Gov. John White of the Colony of Roanoke, becomes the first English child born in the Americas.
1590 - John White, the governor of the Colony of Roanoke, returns from a supply-trip to England and finds his settlement deserted.
1634 - Urbain Grandier, accused and convicted of sorcery, burned alive in Loudun, France.
1868 - French astronomer Pierre Jules César Janssen discovers helium. Did he also discover its' voice changing properties?
1877 - Asaph Hall discovers Martian moon Phobos.
1903 - German engineer Karl Jatho allegedly flies his self-made, motored gliding airplane four months before the first flight of the Wright Brothers. What is this? A German made the first powered flight?
1909 - Tokyo mayor Yukio Ozaki presents Washington, D.C. with 2,000 cherry trees, which President Taft decides to plant near the Potomac River.
1914 President Woodrow Wilson issued his Proclamation of Neutrality, aimed at keeping the United States out of World War I.
1920 - 19th Amendment to US constitution passes, guaranteeing women's suffrage. (shaking fist) "I'll give 'em suffrage.
1950 - Julien Lahaut, the chairman of the Communist Party of Belgium is assassinated by far-right elements.
1964: South Africa banned from Olympics

1969 - Jimi Hendrix plays the unofficial last day of Woodstock.
1976 - In the Korean Demilitarized Zone at Panmunjeom, the Axe Murder Incident results in the death of two US soldiers.
1989 - Leading presidential hopeful Luis Carlos Galán is assassinated near Bogotá in Colombia.
1991 - Collapse of the Soviet Union: Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev is put under house arrest while on holiday in the town of Foros, Crimea.
2005 - Dennis Rader is sentenced to 175 years in prison for the BTK serial killings. Wait a minute. By the time he gets out of jail, they won't remember why he's there in the first place. So,....you're saying that I'll be dead before he gets out of prison? How's that right?

Happy Birthday:
1587 - Virginia Dare, first English child born in North America (d. 1588)
1720 - Laurence Shirley, 4th Earl Ferrers, English murderer (d. 1760)
1774 - Meriwether Lewis, American explorer (d. 1809) of Lewis and Clark
1920 - Shelley Winters, American actress (d. 2006)
1927 - Rosalynn Carter, First Lady of the United States
1933 - Roman Polanski, French-born director and actor
1936 - Robert Redford, American actor and director
1952 - Patrick Swayze, American actor
1957 - Denis Leary, American comedian and actor
1958 - Madeleine Stowe, American actress
1969 - Everlast, American musician
1969 - Edward Norton, American actor
1969 - Christian Slater, American actor
1970 - Malcolm-Jamal Warner, American actor
1992 - Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain and singer/actress Courtney Love

Deaths;
1227 The Mongol conqueror Genghis Khan died.

Fame is proof that people are gullible

Ugg Boot

Man held in death of JonBenet Ramsey.

President Bush hopped on a Harley-Davidson at a motorcycle factory Wednesday as he made an election-year pitch for Republican stewardship of the economy. Click on the link to see the picture. Very cool.

Scientists believe they have found a key gene that helped the human brain evolve from our chimp-like ancestors. It's true. Believe it.

NYC releases new 9/11 tapes. I've never heard anything this sad.

A 12-year-old boy managed to get around stepped up security and board a jetliner at an airport outside London without a passport or a boarding pass.

The universe really is expanding — astronomers are proposing to rewrite the textbooks to say that our solar system has 12 planets rather than the nine memorized by generations of schoolchildren.

Google Inc. on Wednesday plans to offer free, high-speed Internet access to everyone in its Silicon Valley home town — a hospitable gesture that the online search leader hopes to see spread to other parts of the country. Free? As in.....free?

Bruno Kirby, a veteran character actor known for playing the best friend in two of Billy Crystal's biggest comedies, "When Harry Met Sally" and "City Slickers," has died of complications from Lukemia. He was 57.

David Copperfield says he's found Fountain of Youth. "I've discovered a true phenomenon," he told Reuters in a telephone interview. "You can take dead leaves, they come in contact with the water, they become full of life again. ... Bugs or insects that are near death, come in contact with the water, they'll fly away. It's an amazing thing, very, very exciting." He needs to find something else and fast. A psychiatrist.

Man drinks potion for good luck: doesn't get any. Dumbass!!!

Malaysian bank robbers have botched a second daring attempt to steal a cash machine when an excavator they used to carry out the heist got stuck. Here's a hint. STOP BREAKING THE LAW!!!

A State Supreme Court Judge agreed to reduce a $300,000 damage award against Starbucks Corp won by a New York lawyer whose foot was burned by spilled coffee. Scum of the Earth!!! This would raise the price of Starbucks coffee and everyone knows it's high enough as it is.

Nebraska man arrested for 226th time. See story above.

Four firefighters were suspended by their force on Wednesday over a stunt which saw one of the men spun around in a tumble dryer at their fire station. Don't be so hard on them. That's just good clean, hahahaha, fun.

Thieves stole almost nothing but the kitchen sink from a church after the restaurant-style, stainless steel basin was left outside during renovations.

Three Mexican fishermen found drifting in the Pacific Ocean could have been lost for almost a year and two others were missing and presumed dead, the manager of a fishing company that rescued them said on Wednesday.

A wayward squirrel invaded a power substation and left more than 5,000 homes and businesses without electricity. 1 squirrel was harmed in the making of this story.

Southern Africa's Catholic bishops have warned priests to stop moonlighting as witchdoctors, fortune tellers and traditional healers, and to rely on Christ for miracles.

Nude man attacks Mo. police officer. The term, love one another, comes to mind.


Today in History: (does anyone read this? If so, let me know)
1777 - American Revolutionary War: Battle of Bennington - British forces are defeated by American troops.

1780 - American Revolutionary War: Battle of Camden - The British defeat the Americans near Camden, South Carolina.

1812 - War of 1812: American General William Hull surrenders Fort Detroit without a fight to the British Army. Without a fight?

1819 - Eleven people die and 400 are injured by cavalry charges at the Peterloo Massacre at a public meeting at St. Peter's Field, Manchester, England.

1829 Siamese twins Chang & Eng Bunker arrive in Boston to be exhibited

1858 - U.S. President James Buchanan inaugurates the new transatlantic telegraph cable by exchanging greetings with Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom. However, a weak signal will force a shutdown of the service in a few weeks.

1861 Pres Lincoln prohibits Union states from trading with Confederacy

1863 Emancipation Proclamation signed

1869 - Battle of Acosta Ñu: A Paraguay battalion made up of children is massacred by the Brazilian Army during the War of the Triple Alliance.

1870 Fred Goldsmith demonstrates curve ball isn't an optical illusion

1896 Gold discovered in the Klondike, found at Bonanza Creek, Ala

1898 Roller coaster patented

1920 Ray Chapman, of the Indians is hit in the head by Yanks' Carl Mays pitch; he dies next day, only major league fatality

1928 - Murderer Carl Panzram is arrested in Washington, DC after killing 20 people.

1930 - The first color sound cartoon, called Fiddlesticks, is made by Ub Iwerks.

1934 US explorer William Beebe descends 3,028' (1922 m) in Bathysphere

1956 Adlai E Stevenson nominated as Democratic presidential candidate

1960 - Joseph Kittinger parachutes from a balloon over New Mexico at 102,800 feet (31,330 m), setting three records that still stand today: High-altitude jump, free-fall, and fastest speed by a human without an aircraft.

1969 - Police raid on Spahn Ranch; Charles Manson arrested.

1975 - Serial killer Ted Bundy originally arrested for suspicion of burglary, only to later escape twice.

1984 - Carmaker John De Lorean is acquitted of all eight counts of possessing and distributing cocaine.

1985 Singer Madonna weds actor Sean Penn

1986 Madonna's "True Blue," album goes #1 for 5 weeks & her single "Papa Don't Preach," goes #1 for 2 weeks

1987 - A McDonnell Douglas MD-82 carrying Northwest Airlines Flight 255 crashes on take-off from Detroit Metropolitan Airport, killing 155 passengers and crew. The sole survivor is four-year-old Cecelia Cichan.

1988 IBM introduces software for artificial intelligence

2001 - A former butler to Princess Diana is charged with stealing hundreds of items from the Wales household.

2003 - U.S. Representative from South Dakota Bill Janklow hits and kills a motorcyclist with his car at a rural intersection near Trent, South Dakota; he will eventually be convicted of manslaughter and will resign from Congress.

2005 - West Caribbean Airways Flight 708 crashes near Machiques, Venezuela, killing the 160 aboard.

Happy Birthday:
1650 - Vincenzo Coronelli, Italian cartographer and encylopedist (d. 1718)
1897 Robert Ringling circus master
1930 - Frank Gifford, American football player and announcer
1953 - Kathie Lee Gifford, French-born singer and actress
1953 James Taylor rocker (Kool & The Gang-Joanna)
1957 Tim Farriss rocker (Inxs-Kiss the Dirt)
1958 - Angela Bassett, American actress
1958 - Madonna (Ciccone) Bay City Mich, singer/actress (Like a Virgin)
1960 - Timothy Hutton, American actor

Deaths on this day:
1854 Duncan Phyfe furniture maker, dies
1938 - Robert Johnson, American singer and guitarist (b. 1911) The creator of popular blues, as I call him.
1948 - Babe Ruth, baseball player (b. 1895)
1977 - Elvis Presley, American singer and actor (b. 1935)

blah blah blah

Ugg Boot

Hot Dogs May Cause Genetic Mutations.

"Charm school" helps men perfect the pick-up.

Nasa officials are searching for the original videotapes from the first moon landing in 1969 in the hopes that they can use modern technology to produce sharper images of the event. How do you lose something like this? I guess with the hundreds of copies, it just got misplaced.

Online dating is planned for orangutans.

Seven dwarfs more famous than US judges: poll. Can you name them?

Descendants of extinct mammals like the giant woolly mammoth might one day walk the Earth again. It isn't exactly Jurassic Park, but Japanese researchers are looking at the possibility of using sperm from frozen animals to inseminate living relatives.

Sacked Beatles drummer Pete Best still on beat.

A detour that bypasses road work near this popular vacation spot sends motorists more than 50 miles out of their way, even though there's a five-minute alternative nearby.

Authorities followed their noses to nearly a ton of marijuana hidden in a Tucson stash house. Pima County sheriff's deputies were on a call about 6:30 a.m. Sunday when they smelled fresh marijuana coming from next door.

Police have been looking for a disgruntled McDonald's customer who ran into two other customers with her car after a dispute over who was next in line. Is it that hard to wait that extra 30 seconds and say, you go ahead. What would this hurt? Selfish bitch. That wasn't very nice of me was it. I should have said something like, you should do better next time. Selfish bitch.


PARTY-LOVING Princes William and Harry hugged drunkenly for the camera during a booze-fuelled night out with chums. If I were a Prince, I'd probably do the same thing. I would guess from the picture that they're not gay. Did I offend anyone? Oh well.


Today is Flooding of the Nile day in Egypt.

Today in History:

1620 - The Mayflower departs Southampton, England with 102 pilgrims. Did you know... It is likely that the ship was broken up for scrap lumber in Rotherhithe in 1623, the year after Jones's death. The Mayflower Barn, just outside the Quaker village of Jordans, in Buckinghamshire, England, is said to be built from these timbers.
1755 - The deportation of the Acadians takes place, where thousands of them are sent to Europe or Louisiana, with a few escaping and remaining in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia.
1843 - Tivoli Gardens, one of the oldest still intact amusement parks in the world, opens in Copenhagen, Denmark.
1858 Regular mail to the Pacific coast begins
1863 Submarine "HL Hunley" arrives in Charleston on railroad cars
1870 Transcontinental Railway actually completed
1877 - Thomas Edison makes the first-ever recording - "Mary Had a Little Lamb"
1894 - Sante Jeronimo Caserio executed for the Marie Francois Sadi Carnot assassination
1906 1st freight delivery tunnel system begins, underneath Chicago
1914 - The Panama Canal opens to traffic with the transit of the cargo ship Ancon.
1918 1st full length cartoon (The Sinking of the Lusitania)

1939 "Wizard of Oz" premiers at Grauman's Chinese Theater, Hollywood
1945 US wartime rationing of gasoline & fuel oil ends
1960 UFO is sighted by 3 California patrolmen
1961 - Conrad Schumann flees from East Germany while on duty guarding the construction of the Berlin Wall

1965 - The Beatles play to nearly 60,000 fans at Shea Stadium in New York City, marking the birth of stadium rock.
1969 - The Woodstock Music and Art Festival opens.
1971 - President Richard Nixon ends convertibility of U.S. dollar into gold. Bahrain Independence Day
1974 - Yook Young-soo, First Lady of South Korea is killed amid an apparent assassination attempt upon President of South Korea, Park Chung-hee, during the anniversarial ceremony of the Liberation day.
1975 - Military coup in Bangladesh. Sheikh Mujibur Rehman killed along with all family members, except Haseena Wajid.
1977 - The Big Ear, a radio telescope operated by The Ohio State University as part of the SETI project, receives a radio signal from deep space; the event is named the "Wow! signal" for notation made by a volunteer on the project.
1978 - Foundation of Mirapuri - The City of Peace and Future Man
1986 Pres Reagan decides to support a replacement for the Challenger
1995 - In South Carolina, Shannon Faulkner becomes the first female cadet matriculated at The Citadel, but drops out in less than a week.


Happy Birthday:
1717 - Blind Jack, English roadbuilder (d. 1810). Blind Jack earned that nickname because he was deaf. Not really.
1769 - Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of France (d. 1821)
1845 Walter Crane England, painter/illustrator (Beauty & Beast)
1904 Bill Baird Grand Is Nebr, puppeteer (Kukla Fran & Ollie, Muppet Show)
1912 - Julia Child, American cook (d. 2004)
1933 - Bobby Helms, American pop singer (d. 1997)
1950 Princess Anne England (daughter of Queen Elizabeth II)
1960 Tommy Aldridge heavy metal rocker (Ozzy-Diary of a Mad Man)
1972 - Ben Affleck, American actor

Deaths on this day:
1935 - Wiley Post, American pilot (airplane crash) (b. 1898)
1935 - Will Rogers, American humorist and actor (airplane crash) (b. 1879)
1975 - Clay Shaw, John F. Kennedy assassination investigator (b. 1913)
1983 Anthony Costello actor, dies at 42

Toughts that Inspire.

Ugg Boot

I miss how Halloween was when I was a kid. It was the most fun. We had a dress up day at school followed by a school carnival with a cake walk and tons of games. That night we'd go Trick or Treating around the neighborhood. Then everyone started saying that it was satanic. We never had anything bad at Halloween. We didn't torture anyone, steal, destroy, or sacrifice any virgins. We just got creative with costumes and went to see our neighbors. To those people who took away a very fun part of my childhood, you should be stoned in the street. I have no problem with religion at all but when these preachers arrive from nowhere with their religious revolution ideas, I have a problem with that. I celebrate Halloween, my children will celebrate Halloween, and will until my dying day. The only holiday I celebrate more is Christmas. If you're offended by this, you have a problem.

Driver gets 70 speeding tickets in 5 months. That's one ticket every other day. Did they not realize they were stopping the same person?

We interupt todays edition to bring you this special Far Side moment.

Thank you. We will now return to todays episode.

Today in History:
1040 - King Duncan I of Scotland is killed in battle against his cousin and successor Macbeth.

1248 Construction of Cologne Cathedral begun
1457 Oldest known exactly dated printed book (c 3 years after Gutenberg)
1765 Mass colonists challenge British rule by an Elm (Liberty Tree)
1846 - The Cape Girardeau meteorite, a 2.3 kg chondrite-type meteorite strikes near the town of Cape Girardeau in Cape Girardeau County, Missouri.
1862 Lincoln receives 1st group of blacks to confer with US president
1880 - Cologne Cathedral, the most famous landmark in Cologne, Germany, completed. (632 years?)
1885 - Japan's first patent is issued to the inventor of a rust-proof paint.
1893 France issues 1st driving licenses, included required test
1893 - France introduces motor vehicle registration.
1901 - The first claimed powered flight, by Gustave Whitehead in his Number 21.
1935 Social Security Act became law

1936 - Rainey Bethea is hanged in Owensboro, Kentucky in the last public execution in the United States.
1945 V-J Day; Japan surrenders unconditionally to end WW II
1958 KLM Superconstellation crashes west of Ireland, killing 99
1962 US mail truck in Plymouth, Mass robbed of more than $1.5 million
1965 Beatles tape an appearance for the Ed Sullivan Show
1966 1st US lunar orbiter begins orbiting the Moon
1972 - An East German Ilyushin Il-62 crashes during takeoff from East Berlin, killing 156.
1974 Congress authorizes US citizens to own gold
1979 Rainbow seen in Northern Wales for a 3 hour duration
2005 - Helios Airways Flight 522 crashes north of Athens, killing the 121 on board.


Happy Birthday:
1586 - William Hutchinson, Rhode Island colonist (d. 1642)
1851 - Doc Holliday, American gambler (d. 1887)
1903 John Ringling North circus director
1941 - David Crosby, American musician (Crosby, Stills & Nash-Southern Cross)
1941 - Connie Smith, American singer
1944 Robyn Smith Astaire jockey/wife of Fred Astaire
1945 Steve Martin Waco Tx, comedian (The Jerk, Man With 2 Brains)
1946 - Larry Graham, American musician (Sly & the Family Stone)
1947 - Danielle Steel, American novelist
1966 - Halle Berry, American actress

Deaths:
1936 Rainey Bethea hung, last US public execution
1951 William Randolph Hearst newspaper publisher, dies in Beverly Hills
1958 Gladys L Presley mom of Elvis, dies at 46

Out With the Old, In With the New

Ugg Boot

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head.

"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."

"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."

My favorite show "My Name Is Earl"!!! More than 10.8 million fans a week checked in with their ol' pal Earl last season, per Nielsen Media Research, making the comedy not only way more than nothing but also NBC's only freshman series besides Deal or No Deal to get picked up for a second season. The season premiere is Sept. 21. YES!!!! Children, set your tivo's. You don't have tivo???? What are you....livin' under a rock?

Britain's top-selling newspaper suspended its royal correspondent Friday after he was charged with eavesdropping on Prince Charles's staff. That's why I like Prince C. Bottoms up.

Scientists have discovered molecular janitors that clear away a sticky gunk blamed for Alzheimers Disease until they get old and quit sweeping up.

When Debbie Phillips tried to report a crime, police just snickered. "I told him that someone came into my house and cleaned," the president of the Putnam County School Board said. "He just laughed." Criminals can be good?

Carmen Elektra and Dave Navarro are getting divorced? She's free again? That's like the....third time?

Carlton from Fresh Prince is getting divorced too. I guess it's like the song says. "It's a bad time to be in love".

Serbs seeking a bit of extra protection or perhaps a helicopter for the weekend can now turn to the police, which from this month will be renting out its personnel, transport and even animals for private use.

A Missouri couple who must get married, or move, in order to comply with a housing ordinance in Black Jack, Missouri, sued the town on Thursday, claiming rules prohibiting the unmarried couple and their children from living together are unconstitutional. Craziness. Who are you to decide who should get married? Whatever happened to a free country where we can worship as we choose?

William Fogarty doesn't understand the fuss. He just forgot to pay a parking ticket. When he finally realized it, the 86-year-old retiree made good and mailed in a money order, to pay a $1 ticket he got 60 years ago.


A cigarette butt casually tossed to the ground sparked a daylong argument between four neighbors that escalated into a fight that sent at least three of them to the hospital and got them all arrested. I don't think this is what was meant by Cigarette Butt.

Squirrel attacks people in Florida park.

Left-handed men, often seen as having an advantage over right-handed counterparts in sports like tennis, also enjoy much better paydays.

Customers in a bakery for a Bible study saw a different kind of buns Wednesday morning. A drunken teen came into the Atlanta Bread Co. shortly after it opened, used the bathroom in a storage closet, then walked out of the bakery naked.

Comedienne SANDRA BERNHARDT, close friend of Madonna, has threatened to fight new security measures at airports imposed after a terrorist attack on planes flying from the UK to the US was averted. That's all we need. Some "star" trying to fight safety. Sandra, this is done for a reason. I don't see what why people are making such a big deal about this. Don't take liquids on the plane for your safety. Is your life worth a tube of toothpaste? Wherever you go, you can buy toothpaste.

Man Missing After Pulled Into Ocean By Turtle.

A bizarre video of Britney Spears belching and ranting at her husband has shocked fans worldwide. The pop star - who appears confused as she speaks to the camera - moans about being ugly and whinges at husband Kevin Federline while eating what appears to be takeaway chicken and chips. She's human? How will we ever cope with this news? I watched the video and don't have a clue how this is shocking to anyone. Kevin is speaking in a very low voice. The reason it sounds perfectly loud is because he is about 2 inches from the camcorder mic. She looking confused because she has to have him repeat himself 'cause he talks too low. She burps twice??? This is a big deal? Doesn't everyone burp? So she whines. She's female. Isn't that genetic? This video was not one produced for mass release. It was Kevin playing around with a camcorder. Drudgereport.com has a warning "contains graphic language". I think he says shit twice??? You gotta do better than that.

The woman behind the internet's best-selling erotic blog has revealed she works too hard to have time for sex.

Today in History:
3114 BC - On this date in the proleptic Gregorian calendar begins our current era in the Maya Long Count Calendar.

586 BC - The First Temple (originially built by King Solomon) is destroyed by the Babylonians in Jerusalem.

70 - The Second Temple is destroyed by the Romans in Jerusalem. Would ya stop already?

355 - Claudius Silvanus, accused of treason, proclaims himself Roman Emperor against Constantius II.

1860 Nation's 1st successful silver mill (Virginia City, Nev)

1866 World's 1st roller rink opens (Newport, RI)

1909 SOS 1st used by an American ship, Arapahoe, off Cape Hatteras, NC

1929 - Babe Ruth becomes the first baseball player to hit 500 home runs in his career with a home run at League Park in Cleveland, Ohio. He also makes one heck of a candy bar.

1933 Temp reaches 136ø F (58ø C) at San Luis Potos¡, Mex (world record)

1934 - Federal prison opened at Alcatraz Island

1945 Allies refuse Japan's surrender offer to retain Emperor Hirohito . Go home Hirohito.

1956 - Jackson Pollock dies in car crash East Hampton, NY


1956 Elvis Presley releases "Don't Be Cruel" (picture taken during the recording of Don't Be Cruel)

1962 Beach Boys release "Surfin' Safari"

1964 Beatles' "A Hard Day's Night" opens in NYC

1965 Beatles movie "Help" opens in NYC

1966 Last Beatle concert tour of the US begins

1966 - John Lennon holds a press conference in Chicago apologizing for stating that the Beatles were "more popular than Jesus".

1968 The Beatles launch the "Apple Records" label

1968 - The last steam passenger train service ran in Britain. A British Rail steam locomotive made the 314-mile journey from Liverpool to Carlisle and returned to Liverpool before being dispatched to the Wrecking yard. I bet the little engine never saw it coming.

1970 - A trademark application by the Van Brode Milling Company for the word Spork was published by the USPTO.

1971 Construction begins on the Louisiana Superdome

1972 "Cheech & Chong Day" in San Antonio Texas

1976 Keith Moon, drummer for the Who, collapses & is hospitalized in Miami. Now that's a drum set.


1984 - United States President Ronald Reagan, during a voice check for a radio broadcast remarks "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes". hahahahahahaha Love ya Ron.

1989 "Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child" premiers

2005 - Murderer Mitchell Johnson is released from prison on his 21st birthday.

2006 - The last software patent will expire on the GIF format.

Happy Birthday:
1942 Mike Hugg drummer (Manfred Mann)
1943 - Abigail Folger, American murder victim (d. 1969)
1946 - John Conlee, American country music singer
1953 - Hulk Hogan, (Terry Bollea) American wrestler
1957 - Richie Ramone, American musician (The Ramones)
1971 Julie Anne Clark Tucson Az, playmate (Mar, 1991)

Deaths:
1919 - Andrew Carnegie, Scottish-born industrialist and philanthropist (b. 1835)

Liberty, London, and Grass

Ugg Boot

Tourists won't be climbing back up to the Statue of Liberty's crown. That's the word from the National Park Service to lawmakers, some of whom have been fighting to reopen the crown following the 2001 terror attacks. Why do punks like this screw up everyones fun? I'd like to kick 'em in their shins. I'm bad. Word! hahahahahaha.

Spanish police have arrested four Frenchmen for jumping in front of cars on a busy road so that they could film them and post the footage on the Internet. Relatively rare in Spain, a youth craze known as "happy slapping" took off in Britain last year, in which groups of teenagers slapped or mugged strangers while filming the victims' reaction on camera phones. The images were then sent to friends or posted on Web sites. Dumb. Hopefully, I can find the link to their footage.

A man charged with robbing a 7-Eleven might have avoided capture if he'd spent some of the loot at a nearby gas station. Dumber. I can just hear it now. "I'm getting away with it. You'll never catch.....What the? ...........damn!"


A Brazilian man died Tuesday when he tried to open what police believe was a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer in a mechanical workshop on the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro. Dumbester. Granted, this is not a rocket propelled grenade but it's Pac Man. How cool is that?

A jet owned by leading Brazilian airline TAM landed safely on Tuesday after one of its doors fell off and crashed to earth next to a supermarket shortly after departure from Sao Paulo. Strangely enough, on the radio you could hear "The End" by the Doors. What are the odds on that? (okay I made the part about the radio up)

Italy's government plans to clamp down on broadcasters turning up the volume when they show advertisements in order to get viewers' attention. Thank you Tivo. Now I don't have to watch stupid commercials.

Some sperm donation clinics invite men to leave a message behind for their unborn child to hear when they are 18. What would you say? Please give me your ideas so when I donate, and donate, and donate,...... I'll have a good thought to leave behind. My first thought was ..... "Whew, that was fun."

Robot shopping carts? It looks almost like any other shopping cart, except sensors allow it to follow the shopper around the supermarket and slow down when needed so items can be placed in it, and it never crashes into anyone's heels. I want a robot like Richie Rich had.

I'd like to make a personal withdrawl. hahahaha. An 85-year-old woman was found in the vault of a Swiss bank when she set off motion detectors hours after the bank was already closed. tap tap tap "I think I went into the wrong door!"

Malaysian thieves used a net and rope to haul an ATM cash dispenser through a glass wall and down a flight of stairs, only to discover they had grabbed a cheque deposit machine by mistake. Doh!!! Why are criminals so stoopid sometimes? They put enough thought into it to get a net, a rop, a vehicle to pull the machine through a wall and down stairs. Don't you think they would check to see if it was cheque deposit machine?

Mayor Mike Dixon posted a sign on the fence around his overgrown lawn. "There are more important things in life than tall grass," it reads. Dixon hasn't mowed his lawn since last year, and has declined offers from neighbors to cut the grass. You show 'em. I think there's a typo there. I think his real name is Dison. My yard needs mowing badly. If anyone volunteers to mow my grass, I surely won't turn you down.

Thieves apparently under the influence of alcohol stole six U-Haul moving trucks and went on some destructive Mojave Desert joyrides. Oh they hauled it alright. They hauled ass. hahahaha

Today in History:
1519 Magellan's 5 ship set sail to circumnavigate the Earth

1776 - Word of the United States Declaration of Independence reaches London.
1790 Robert Gray's Columbia, completes 1st American around world voyage
1792 - French Revolution: Storming of the Tuileries Palace. Louis XVI of France is arrested and taken into custody.
1833 Chicago incorporates as a village of about 200
1846 Congress charters the "nation's attic," the Smithsonian Institution
1866 Transatlantic cable laid - Former Pres Buchanan communicates over it to Queen Victoria
1885 Leo Daft opens America's 1st coml operated electric streetcar (Balt)
1911 Parliament Act reduces power of House of Lords

1921 FDR stricken with polio at summer home on Canadian Is of Campobello. If you haven't seen the movie "Warm Springs" you should check it out. It's about FDR's struggle with Polio. It comes on HBO about 7 times a day.
1932 - A 5.1-kg (11.2-pound) chondrite-type meteorite breaks into at least seven pieces and lands near the town of Archie in Cass County, Missouri.
1945 Japan announces willingness to surrender to Allies provided the status of Emperor Hirohito remained unchanged
1960 Discoverer 13 launched into orbit; returned 1st object from space
1966 Daylight meteor seen from Utah to Canada. Only known case of a meteor entering the Earth's atmosphere & leaving it again
1969 - A day after murdering Sharon Tate and four others, members of Charles Manson's cult kill Leno and Rosemary LaBianca.
1977 - In Yonkers, New York, 24-year-old postal employee David Berkowitz ("Son of Sam") is arrested for a series of killings in the New York City area over a year's period.

1979 Wings release "Getting Closer" & "Baby's Request"
1981 The Richard Nixon Museum in San Clemente closes
1981 - The head of John Walsh's son Adam is found in Hollywood, Florida. This event will later prompt the U.S. Congress to pass the Missing Children's Act, giving the Federal Bureau of Investigation greater authority to track the disappearance of children. It also makes Walsh a national spokesman against crime and eventually leads to the establishment of America's Most Wanted.

1985 Michael Jackson buys ATV Music (every Beatle songs) for $47« million. C'mon Michael, atleast offer his music back to him. Wait until his divorce is final though. We don't want the hooker getting his music too.
1990 - The Magellan space probe reaches Venus. They were gonna send a probe to Uranus but sending a probe to Uranus sounded too perverted. blahahahahahahahahahahahaha woooo blahahahahahahahahahaa
1995 - Oklahoma City bombing: Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols are indicted for the bombing. Michael Fortier pleads guilty in a plea-bargain agreement for his testimony.
2003 - Yuri Ivanovich Malenchenko became the first person to marry in space.
2003 - The American television series Futurama ends
2005 - Lee Seung Seop dies from exhaustion in South Korea after playing the computer game StarCraft continuously for 49 hours. I didn't make this up.
2006 - Scotland Yard disrupts major terrorist plot to destroy aircraft travelling from the United Kingdom to the United States in mid-air. Shoot them where they stand. Don't let 'em talk. Don't let 'em call anyone. Just shoot 'em. .....and I'm a passifist.

Happy Birthday:
1874 - Herbert Hoover, President of the United States (d. 1964)

1909 - Leo Fender, American luthier (d. 1991)
1928 - Jimmy Dean, Tx, actor/singer (Jimmy Dean Show, Diamonds are Forever)
1940 - Bobby Hatfield, American singer (Righteous Brothers) (d. 2003)
1943 - Jimmy Griffin, American guitarist (Bread) (d. 2005)
1947 - Ian Anderson, Scottish musician (Jethro Tull)Bungle in the Jungle
1959 - Rosanna Arquette, American model and actress
1960 - Antonio Banderas, Spanish actor


Deaths:
1759 - King Ferdinand VI of Spain (b. 1713)
1784 - Allan Ramsay, Scottish raper (b. 1713) I didn't know they had rap music back then...
1945 - Robert Goddard, American rocket scientist (b. 1882)
1969 - Leno LaBianca, American businessman (murdered) (b. 1925) I thought 1969 was the summer of love.
1969 - Rosemary LaBianca, American housewife (murdered) (b. 1930) Ditto.
2002 - Michael Houser, American guitarist (Widespread Panic) (b. 1962)