Here and Now

Ugg Boot

A Dutch farmer watched in disbelief as a driver under the influence of cocaine drove a slalom course through his corn field, only to be joined by two police vehicles in hot pursuit, adding to the damage.

IPhone launch day arrives. $499? I think not.

Thousands Line Up to Buy APPLE IPhones... Of course they are. That's what they were trained to do. You have to have the newest and the best to be cool. Didn't you know that?

Reporter's Mic Stolen at Apple Store During Live Shot... You do realize that it's just a phone right? Sure it can do anything from play music to raise the dead but it's still just a phone. Watch the video. It's fuuuunnnnnyyy!!!

Man pays $4.88 for plasma TV at Wal-Mart. This happened in Monroe, La? Sweeeeeet! I'm going to Monroe.

House Cats' Wild Ancestor Found.

Former astronaut Lisa Nowak didn't wear diapers during her 950-mile road trip to confront a romantic rival, her lawyer said Friday, disputing one of the more bizarre details to emerge from the NASA love triangle. For the first time in a while, Paris Hilton isn't the headline in the news, instead,....we have diaperless astronauts.

Scientists swap genes in bacteria. I swapped at a rock concert once. It's similar.

Squash grown 10,000 years ago in Peru. That's right kids, only the important news appears on my site.

Bald eagle comes off endangered list. Whatever you do, don't tell the rednecks!!!

The `80s are back with `Transformers'. Oh what fond memories.

Thieves in the former Burma's main city, Yangon, are taking advantage of outages often lasting for more than 20 hours a day to steal the copper power cables, police said on Friday. Maybe the power company will finally stop and think...We should be more reliable. Hmmm, ya think?

India, struggling to promote greater condom use among its population, is looking to hire its own "condom man" to follow the example of a former Thai cabinet minister who successfully pushed for safer sex. Oh how do I apply?

A Mickey Mouse lookalike who preached Islamic domination on a Hamas affiliated children's television program was beaten to death in the show's final episode Friday. Why are you hatin' on Mickey?

The stylists wear scanty outfits, but a Salem man has found out that customers have to stay covered up. Kevin Bean, 48, was charged with indecent exposure and lewdness after allegedly stripping naked in the Lather & Lace hair salon in Salem this week. I'm a logger...... Love ya Ray Stevens.

A teacher who forced a pupil to write "I am a retard" 100 times was acquitted by an Italian court on Wednesday of abuse charges. If the shoe fits,.....

Britain is proposing to remove the term "prostitute" from the criminal statutes because it carries too much stigma. Aww. C'mon now. read comment for retard above. Here's what I don't get. You can sell almost anything in the world to make one feel better, save for illegal drugs. The reason it's illegal? It's very hard to tax. hehehe Like you've never paid for sex. hahahaha.

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer ... car thief? An Arizona Highway Patrol officer who ran the Wienermobile's plates as the vehicle traveled for a promotion briefly thought the giant hot dog on wheels was, well, hot. It turns out someone had indeed stolen the "Y-U-M-M-Y" plate off the Wienermobile in Columbia, Mo., back in February. Oscar Mayer officials reported the theft to police there, company spokeswoman Syd Lindner said. The company got a replacement YUMMY plate that same month and notified police in Missouri, Lindner said. YUMMY....hahaha

Wimbledon is getting its knickers in a twist. Tatiana Golovin had the Wimbledon referee reaching for his rule book when she sought to appear on court wearing red underwear. Show 'em what you're made of girl. You got this!!!

A Goleta Valley Junior High School teacher is facing charges for allegedly smoking marijuana with two students........and.....???

Tickets to the moon sell for $100 million... I'm gonna have to wait until I get my next pay raise to purchase mine.


Today In History:
512 - A solar eclipse is recorded by a monastic chronicler in Ireland.

1613 - The Globe Theatre in London, England burns to the ground.

1644 - Charles I of England defeats a Parliamentarian detachment at the Battle of Cropredy Bridge, the last battle won by an English King on English soil.

1864 - Ninety-nine people are killed in Canada's worst railway disaster near St-Hilaire, Quebec.

1888 - First (known) recording of classical music made, Handel's Israel in Egypt on wax cylinder.

1914 - Jina Guseva attempts to assassinate Grigori Rasputin at his home town in Siberia.

1916 - Sir Roger Casement, Irish Nationalist and British diplomat is sentenced to death for his part in the Easter Rising.

1927 - First test of Wallace Turnbull's Controllable pitch propeller.

1956 - The Federal-Aid Highway Act of 1956 is signed, officially creating the United States Interstate Highway System.

1972 - The U.S. Supreme Court rules the death penalty could constitute "cruel and unusual punishment".

1995 - The Sampoong Department Store collapses in the Seocho-gu district of Seoul, South Korea, killing 501 and injuring 937.

1997 - Mike Tyson bites off a piece of his opponent Evander Holyfield's ear during a boxing match. I was at a restaurant in Branson Missouri with co-workers from Remington Theater watching the fight.

2003 - Thirteen are killed in a porch collapse in Chicago. 13 people on one porch?

2007 - Haymarket car bomb was found in the heart of London at Picadilly Circus.


Happy Birthday:
1861 - William Mayo, founder of the Mayo Clinic (d. 1939) It sits right next to the Mustard Police department and the Ketchup fire department.

1868 - George Ellery Hale, American astronomer (d. 1938)

1901 - Nelson Eddy, American singer and actor (d. 1967)

1919 - Slim Pickens, American actor (d. 1983)


Deaths on this day:
1852 - Henry Clay, U.S. Senator (b. 1777)

1933 - Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle, American actor (b. 1887)

1967 - Jayne Mansfield, American actress (b. 1933)

1969 - Shorty Long, American singer (b. 1940) He had to be a rapper....

1995 - Lana Turner, American actress (b. 1921)

2002 - Rosemary Clooney, American singer and actress (b. 1928)

2003 - Katharine Hepburn, American actress (b. 1907)

They're Coming For Us All

Ugg Boot

'Mile-wide UFO' spotted by British airline pilot... Before you start to be all critical, remember, UFO doesn't stand for alien aircraft, it stands for unidentified flying object.

Lightning kills man beneath cloudless sky... Doh!!!

WOMAN'S FACE BRANDED WITH 'SNITCH'...









First resident moves on to Dubai's palm-shaped man-made island...

2-YEAR OLD 'AS SMART AS STEPHEN HAWKING'... Yeah, right. Not possible.

Naked couple die from S.C. rooftop fall Sweeeeeeet!

Six Flags and Cedar Fair shut down eight more thrill rides around North America on Friday after a teenage girl's feet were sliced off during a ride in Kentucky. Amy, if you're reading this, millions of people have ridden this ride with no incident. Don't worry, Be happy.

Google asks gov't to fight censorship HA! Yeah right.

'Manhunt 2' video game release suspended Shouldn't it be up to the consumer to decide whether or not to purchase the game? I can hear them whining now. "Buy my kids will get it anyway." Well, put your crack pipe down and pay attention to your kids. How would you not notice that? It all goes back to bad parenting. Tell me I'm wrong and I'll show you a bad parent.

Washington Woman Registers Her Dog to Vote... Uhhhh....whut?

Summer Solstice

Ugg Boot

This day usually marks the summer solstice in the northern hemisphere and the winter solstice in the southern hemisphere, and thus is the day of the year with the longest hours of daylight in the northern hemisphere and the shortest in the southern hemisphere.

I'm planning this years vacation. I'm thinking of traveling to Salem, Ma. to visit the town famous for the 1692 Salem Witchtrials. Boston also has a lot of history like the Boston Tea Party(I prefer coke so we'll call it the Boston coke party because that's what I'll be drinking), the Boston Massacre(the Boston Massacre refers to a football game in which Boston got stomped), etc. I could be wrong but I made you think about it. I've never been that far north in the U.S. I want to go in the fall when it's cool but not cold. If you have any tips on the upper northeast please comment.

In The News:
Revelers welcome summer solstice England - Druids, drummers, pagans and partygoers welcomed the sun Thursday as it rose above the prehistoric monument of Stonehenge on the longest day of the year — the summer solstice. and what do people in Louisiana do? Not a single thing. Most people here don't even know it exists.

Jimmy Kimmel has emergency appendectomy

Chrysler to boost gas mileage Thanks you. While other car makers are bitchin' and whinin' that they don't want to increase gas mileage, Chrysler responds. I love my Chrysler.

N.Z. couple can't name their son '4real' No way? For real?

Missing: Large lake in southern Chile Definitely worth the read.

15-year-old performs surgery in India

So you think trying out for Survivor would be a blast, check this out....Mars candidates, apply now

Pamela Anderson fights Finland fur farms I'm surprised she's smart enough to know what a farm is, or what fur is for that matter. "Does finland have a lot of fish? I bet they do". Face it Pam, can I call you Pam (as if I care), people like you for your body and noahahahahot for your brain or lack thereof.



Today in History:
524 - Godomar, King of the Burgundians defeats the Franks at the Battle of Vezerone.

1498 Jews are expelled from Nurenberg Bavaria by Emperor Maximillian

1607 1st Protestant Episcopal parish in America established, Jamestown

1621 - an execution of 27 Czech lords on the Old Town Square in Prague as a consequence of the Battle of White Mountain.

1633 Galileo Galilei is forced by Inquisition to "abjure, curse, & detest" his Copernican heliocentric views. Turns out, he was right.

1684 Massachusettes Bay Colony's charter revoked

1734 - In Montreal in New France (today primarily Quebec), a black slave known by the French name of Marie-Joseph Angélique, having been convicted of the arson that destroyed much of the city, was tortured and hanged by the French authorities in a public ceremony that involved her disgrace and the amputation of a hand.

1749 - Halifax, Nova Scotia, founded.

1768 1st US bachelor of medicine degree (Dr John Archer)

1788 - New Hampshire ratifies the Constitution and is thus admitted as the 9th state in the United States.

1813 - Laura Secord sets out to warn British forces of an impending U.S. attack on Queenston, Ontario during the War of 1812.

1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick patents reaping machine

1854 - First Victoria Cross won during bombardment of Bomarsund in the Aland Islands.

1858 Louisiana chess prodigy Paul Morphy arrives in Europe. and..............

1877 - The Molly Maguires, ten Irish immigrants who were labor activists, are hanged in the Carbon County, Pennsylvania Prison.

1879 F W Woolworth opens 1st store (failed almost immediately)

1893 1st Ferris wheel premieres (Chicago's Columbian Exposition)

1898 - Guam becomes a U.S. territory.

1903 Sherlock Holmes "Adventure of The Mazarine Stone" takes place (BG)

1913 Tiny Broadwick becomes 1st woman to parachute from an airplane

1915 - The U.S. Supreme Court hands down its decision in Guinn v. United States 238 US 347 1915, striking down an Oklahoma law denying the right to vote to some citizens.

1939 Doctors reveal Lou Gehrig has amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, better known as Lou Gehrigs disease. What are the odds on that?

1940 - World War II: France surrenders to Germany.

1940 - First successful west-to-east navigation of Northwest Passage begins at Vancouver, British Columbia.

1945 - World War II: Battle of Okinawa ends.

1948 1st stored computer program run, on Manchester Mark I

1948 Dr Peter Goldmark of CBS demonstrates "long playing record" Columbia commits to 33 1/3 rpm records, plans to phase out 78's

1964 - Three civil rights workers, Andrew Goodman, James Chaney and Mickey Schwerner, are murdered in Neshoba County, Mississippi, United States, by members of the Ku Klux Klan.

1968 Supreme Court Chief Justice Earl Warren resigns. You remember him don't you? As in, the Warren Commission to investigate the assassination of JFK.

1969 Zager & Evans release "In the Year 2525". A lot can be learned from this ditty.

1973 - In handing down the decision in Miller v. California 413 US 15, the Supreme Court of the United States establishes the Miller Test, which now governs obscenity in U.S. law.

1982 - John Hinckley is found not guilty by reason of insanity for the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ronald Reagan.

1982: Princess Diana gives birth to boy Prince William of Wales Prince Chuck & Lady Di's baby

1982 Paul McCartney releases "Take it Away". Did it come back to him?

1987 Mike Tyson sexually harasses a parking lot attendent. Just the term harass sounds like you're talking about her back side.

1989 - The U.S. Supreme Court rules in Texas v. Johnson that flag burning is protected speech under the United States Constitution.

1989 Melanie Griffith & Don Johnson remarry. This must be a great day for Antonio Banderas.

1990 Little Richard gets a star on Hollywood's walk of fame

1990 NYC's Zodiac killer shoots 4th victim, Larry Parham

2002 - The World Health Organization declares Europe polio free. How cool is that. You don't have to pay to play polio anymore.

2003 - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, by JK Rowling, is published worldwide (in English). I don't get how soooo many people are caught up in the "Potter", as they refer to it, fad.

2004 - SpaceShipOne becomes the first privately funded spaceplane to achieve spaceflight.

2006 - Pluto's newly discovered moons are officially christened Nix & Hydra.


Happy Birthday:
1732 Martha Washington 1st, 1st lady

1850 - Daniel Carter Beard, founder of the Boy Scouts of America (d. 1941)

1921 - Jane Russell, American actress. MEOW!!!

1947 - Joey Molland, English musician (Badfinger)

1950 - Joey Kramer, American drummer and percussionist (Aerosmith)

1961 - Kip Winger, American musician

1967 - Jim Breuer, American comedian

1973 - Juliette Lewis, American actress. "Mom, I can't feel my legs" "Mom, I can't feel my thighs" "Isn't it beautiful Audrey?" "She'll see it later. Her eyes are frozen."



Deaths:
1876 Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna Mexican general (took Alamo), dies at 82

2001 - John Lee Hooker, American musician (b. 1916) "Boom, boom, boom, boom"

2001 - Carroll O'Connor, American actor (b. 1924) "meathead"

Someone has a case of the Mondays

Ugg Boot

Today in History:
1178 - Five Canterbury monks see what was possibly the Giordano Bruno crater being formed. It is believed that the current oscillations of the moon's distance (on the order of metres) are a result of this collision.

1429 - French forces under the leadership of Joan of Arc crush the main English army under Sir John Fastolf at the Battle of Patay. This turns the tide of the Hundred Years' War.

1767 - Samuel Wallis, an English sea captain, sighted Tahiti and is considered the first European to reach the island.

1778 - American Revolutionary War: British troops abandon Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. "GIT ON OUTTA ERE!"

1812 - War of 1812: The U.S. Congress declares war on the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland. Here we go again.

1815 - Napoleonic Wars: Battle of Waterloo leads to Napoleon Bonaparte abdicating the throne of France for a second and final time.

1858 - Charles Darwin receives from Alfred Russel Wallace a paper that included nearly identical conclusions about evolution as Darwin's own. This prompts Darwin to publish his theory. Soooo, it was almost Wallace's Theory????

1873 - Susan B. Anthony is fined $100 for attempting to vote in the 1872 presidential election.

1900 - Empress Dowager Longyu of China orders all foreigners killed, including foreign diplomats and their families.

1923 - Checker Cab puts its first taxi on the streets. I love those things.

1928 - Aviator Amelia Earhart becomes the first woman to fly in an aircraft across the Atlantic Ocean (she was a passenger; Wilmer Stutz was pilot and Lou Gordon,mechanic).

1940 - Appeal of June 18 by Charles de Gaulle.

1940 - "Finest Hour" speech by Winston Churchill.

1945 - William Joyce (Lord Haw-Haw) is charged with treason. Don't be hatin'.

1953 - A United States Air Force C-124 crashed and burned near Tokyo, Japan killing 129.

1959 - Governor of Louisiana Earl K. Long is committed to a state mental hospital; he responds by having the hospital's director fired and replaced with a crony who proceeds to proclaim him perfectly sane. He's not crazy. He's Earl K Long. Respect that.

1965 - Vietnam War: The United States uses B-52 bombers to attack National Liberation Front guerrilla fighters in South Vietnam.

1967 - Jimi Hendrix burns his guitar on stage at the Monterey Pop Festival. In that moment, Jimi became the legend. We miss you.

1983 - Space Shuttle program: STS-7, Astronaut Sally Ride becomes the first American woman in space. All she wants to do is Ride Sally Ride. I bet she heard that a few times in her life.

1994 - 43 baseball fans are injured in an escalator accident at the two-year-old Oriole Park at Camden Yards in Baltimore, Maryland. This is Amy's freak accident of the day.

1996 - Ted Kaczynski, suspected of being the Unabomber, is indicted on ten criminal counts.

2006 - The first Kazakh space satellite, KazSat is launched. Isn't that where Borat is from?


Happy Birthday:
1901 - Grand Duchess Anastasia Nicolaievna Romanova of Russia (d. 1918)

1937 - John D. Rockefeller IV, U.S. Senator

1942 - Roger Ebert, American film reviewer

1942 - Sir Paul McCartney, English singer and songwriter (The Beatles)

I Believe in Me

Ugg Boot

I believe in Me, God (probably not like most people but that's not the point here).... I don't believe love and sex are the same. I don't believe you have to have love to have sex or vice versa. I don't believe in love. I don't believe in friendship. I don't believe in trust. Everyone has an angle and self interest (maybe not family though). I believe the world is all about money. If you eat, sleep, drive, .....you have to pay someone. I don't believe in the view that any alcohol is bad. It makes me sick. I'm tired of backstabbing bullshit people who are supposed to be friends. Go away. Don't come back. I'm sick of these.... keepers of vaginas, as I call them, who try to rule others. I'm even more sick of people who let the keepers of vaginas continue to let this happen. Vagina is not worth all that cracka. Relationships. Where do I start. To put it plain and simple, relationships are complicated. Most are doomed from the beginning. These days relationships are designed to fail. You know that you always have a way out. I have a few gay friends. I'm completely straight and have never experienced that side of life. Sometimes I can understand what they're talking about. If women parts weren't just so much fun.... I still couldn't. Anyway.....Am I bitter? I wouldn't say so.

I call it an awakening. I no longer feel the need to sugar coat things to my "friends". You ask the question, I'll answer it. I'll actually go overboard to make it as harsh as possible. I've heard that I'm a bad influence. I can assure you any of my male friends is a worse influence than I could ever think about being. But hey, that's okay. I really don't need you around. I don't need negative energy around me. I'm happy to be alive. I want to see the world. I'm gonna live my life. I've wanted to do things in the past and someone would say, you can't do that, or, that sure is a lot of work, or, fuckall. Bam! I did them! I will enjoy my life while I can because one day it'll end. I don't want to be 80 looking back and saying I wish I'd done this or that. Don't be afraid to live. Be anti negative. This is who I am and who I want to be. Take it or fuck off. Why ya gotta be so harsh B? Well, read the above one more time.




In The News:
Angelina Jolie is crazy. Are you surprised? Me neither. The star of the new film "A Mighty Heart," about the widow of slain reporter Daniel Pearl and freedom of the press, says her representatives were trying to protect her when they sought to make media outlets sign an agreement not to ask Jolie personal questions. Who do you think you are? I hate people with ego problems.

A beaming David Hasselhoff said Friday he had won a long-running battle with ex-wife Pamela Bach over custody of his two teenage daughters. That guy's still alive? How?

Judge orders man not to have girlfriend for three years... Welcome to America, land of the free. What bullshit.

Lindsay Lohan has been sued again for a 2005 car crash in Beverly Hills. In the lawsuit filed Thursday, Raymundo Ortega alleged the actress was under the influence of alcohol when she crashed her car into his van on Oct. 4, 2005. At the time, authorities said it did not appear Lohan was responsible for the crash. Very sad. Wait, it says she crashed into him but it wasn't her fault? If it weren't her fault, he would've crashed into her. Drop the drugs and alcohol Lindsay. You'll be a lot better off. You don't want to turn out like Angelina do ya?

Cop interrupts pair having sex on crane. Atleast let them finish. They were trespassing, I'll give you that. That brought the whole Pee Wee Herman arrest come to mind. Pee Wee was in an adult peep show masterbating and got arrested for it. That's odd. Isn't that what they're designed for? He was arrested because he was Pee Wee Herman. Alls I'm saying is that if I'm having sex and mr. policeman comes along....he might as well pull up a chair and watch cause I ain't stoppin'.

Squirrel goes on rampage, injures 3. All I can say to this one is......blahahahahahahahaha

The judge who sued his dry cleaning shop for $54 million over a lost pair of trousers said as the trial wrapped up on Wednesday that he would use any winnings he might get to encourage others to follow suit. This judge should disbarred and arrested for this. I'm ashamed to be from the same country. You disgust me judge.

Kim Mayorga was confused when her 2-year-old started making funny faces and pushing away the apple juice he had ordered at Applebee's. The explanation came when she opened the lid of the sippy cup and was hit by the smell of tequila and Triple Sec. (Margarita)
The bad part about this is, you know Applebees will get sued for this. Maybe they should but then again maybe they should just fire the person that did the deed? Do you think? But that won't put junior through college and buy mom and dad a new mercedes. Am I reaching here? Oh yeah

Bars get no lift from Baptist meeting Interesting read. One point made in the story: Southern Baptists follow a conservative brand of Christianity that discourages alcohol consumption. That's right because Jesus turned the wine into water. Think for yourself people. Be real.

Missing Indian prisoner found snoring on jail roof. ahahahaha

Anti-Syrian Lebanese minister Ahmad Fatfat said on Friday he sued a television news anchor after she made unwitting remarks on air that he could be the next politician to be killed. Freedom of speech has a cost doesn't it. It's all about the money. Always has been, always will be.

Motel patron uses Bible to set blazes. It's ink and paper. You can destory a church building but you can't destroy a church. Get my drift?

Deputy's dog eats cruiser seats, dies. I bet he won't do that again. Who wants to take that bet? Step on up.

Indian man, 73, fails school exams on 38th try If at first you don't succeed, try try again. If you don't succed after 38 tries, failure may be your thing. Here's a hint.....STUDY

Since Sunday, one of the two channels on Natalie Meilinger's baby monitor has been picking up black-and-white video from inside the space shuttle Atlantis. The other still lets her keep an eye on her baby.