the Life and Times of Brad part 1

Ugg Boot

Diary December 12
I received a strange phone call early this morning. "Don't leave for work until 8." It was a voice I had heard before but could not place. As quickly as I was awakend, I was deep asleep again. I got up at my usual time and dressed myself for work, singing along with Dean Martin's I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm . It was unusually cold this morning and the fire was cozy. Wouldn't you know it, I couldn't find my car keys. I left them on the table as usual, or so I thought. After searching for a few minutes I found everything from a pinball machine key to a spark plug wire. That's very odd. As I put my hands in my pocket, I found that all this time, my keys were hiding in my jacket pocket. Now I'm late for sure. I just hope my truck starts.
After several minutes of trying to start my truck, I popped the hood. Then I noticed a spark plug wire was missing. This will not do. Wait a minute!!! I found a spark plug wire this morning while looking for my keys. But where??? I tear my house apart once more looking for a spark plug wire. It's 7:45. I should've been gone a long time ago. Finally, I found the spark plug wire. Why on earth would someone play this kind of joke on me? Paul came to mind. He's always playing pranks on me. Like the one time when, due to my extreme fear of snakes, I had Paul kill a snake that was slithering on my front porch. I tell him to get rid of it so I don't have to see it. Where did I see the snake again? In the bed of my truck. He got a good laugh out of that one. Or the time that he put a House for Sale sign in my yard. That wasn't funny at all. Well, it was pretty funny. Anyway, this had to be one of Pauls pranks.
I put the spark plug back on my truck and the engine cranks right up. Whew! It's ten till eight. I'm gonna be so late for work. Then I saw smoke through the living room window. I thought that somehow the fireplace wasn't venting properly. As I open the door I see that a log had fallen off of the fire and had ignited the floor and wall next to the fireplace. It was getting out of control fast. As I scramble to find something to put out the fire, I hear a vehicle racing up my driveway. Paul's here. In a flash, Paul is helping me battle the fire. Then I hear the fire truck siren. "Wow, that was fast" I said to Paul, "I didn't call the fire department. I wonder who called them?"
That's when the confusion started. "What are you talking about?" Paul said "you called me 10 minutes ago and said your house was on fire. I called the fire department." After only a few mintues, the fire department had the fire out. With only very minor damage, I thank the fire department. They give me a lecture about fireplace safety and are on their way. I look at my watch again. It's 8:00. As Paul and I talk about the fire, I ask him again about the call I, as he said, I made to him earlier. He was sure it was me. Then I remember the phone call that woke me up. Someone is playing a horrible prank on me. It has to be. The phone call, the missing keys, the missing spark plug wire, the 8 am fire, the call to Paul. What a horrible prank. If it weren't a prank, why would someone tell me not to leave until 8?
I count my blessing that the damage wasn't bad and head to work. Atleast I have an excuse for why I'm late now.

Tune in tomorrow for more excitement for the partially fictional blog book the Life and Times of Brad