I Know How To Get A Response....

Ugg Boot

Yesterdays entry was especially not aimed at any member of my family. I just find it hard to get into the Holidays these days. I could explain it but then I'd sound like a whining bitch.

Check out this LINK. Guys, I know you've been in this situation with a woman before. Girls, that never happens. You just make it up.

Radical Muslim cleric Abu Hamza al-Masri failed to appear before a British court Tuesday, complaining his toe nails were too long and he could not walk. You have to give this guy one thing,... He's original. An original dumbass.

A prominent U.S.-based animal rights group urged former President Jimmy Carter on Monday to give up fishing on the grounds that the activity was inconsistent the Nobel peace laureate's humanitarian efforts. I guess all of the animal rights people are vegetarians. Idiots! All of you! Idiots!

An Iranian who beheaded his two sons after they witnessed him murder a woman was sentenced to hang Tuesday by a Tehran court. A fathers love is something special isn't it?

A group of young South African men taking part in coming of age rituals due to include circumcision turned on their male nurse and killed him. "You're gonna cut what?"

Mass. Parents Win First Baby Contest Again.

The medical aid group Medecins Sans Frontieres (Doctors without Borders) has urged donors to stop sending it money for Asian tsunami victims, saying it had collected enough funds to manage its relief effort there. The group instead would like for donations to be sent to the My Crazy Life website.

A Burger King customer berated the employees and nearly hit one of them with his truck after the clerk at the drive-thru window told him they were out of french fries. Over french fries......

Radio giant Clear Channel Communications has come under fire from women's health advocates over a Christmas contest in which stations granted breast enlargement surgeries to women in four cities. I don't see the problem. Wake up world or you might miss it.

Crazy news articles from 2004:
Humming sex toy shuts Australian airport. Taiwanese man tries to convert lions to Jesus, gets bitten.

Talking toilet orders German men to sit down. Chinese get busy signal on Beijing suicide line.

Judging by the bizarre headlines that greeted readers around the world, 2004 was a bumper year for the weird and wacky.

Canadian guide dog barred for only answering its master's commands in French. Japanese boy writes apology in blood for dozing in class.

The list is endless, living proof that truth is all too often stranger than fiction.

A vibrating sex toy chucked into a rubbish bin at an Australian airport sparked a security alert that only ended when an embarrassed passenger came forward to claim what was identified as "an adult novelty device."

A fervent evangelist who leapt into the lions' den at Taipei zoo and shouted "Jesus will save you" was lucky to escape with just a bite in the right leg when he tried to convert the king of beasts to Christianity.

Feeling suicidal in Beijing? Then be patient.

Nine out of 10 Chinese calling into a suicide-prevention hotline were greeted by an engaged signal.

When it comes to quirky ideas, man's ingenuity knows no bounds.

A German inventor came up with a best-selling gadget that berates men if they try to use the toilet standing up, telling them: "Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up."

The Germans have been accused of being a deadly serious people with a severe sense of humor failure.

But several surreal tales that would not look out of place in a Monty Python sketch prove they can laugh at themselves.

German police arrested a flasher who stumbled over his dropped trousers during an aborted attempt to flee.

A cost-cutting German theater was berated for using just four dwarves instead of seven in their Snow White show.

A survey revealed that most German men wear the wrong size condoms. Germans said they find smelly co-workers to be the most annoying aspect of their jobs.

Britain had its share of oddities too.

UK nursing home staff were so proud of a 105-year-old woman who had smoked since the age of 15 that they cremated her with a packet of her favorite cigarettes in the coffin.

A British train conductor stamped and carefully returned the ticket of a slumbering passenger without realizing the man was dead. A South African radio reporter went a little more live than he anticipated when he was mugged on air for his cellphone while transmitting from a squatter settlement.

Romance certainly had its rough patches in 2004.

A Norwegian court acquitted a man accused of raping a sleeping woman after he said he was also asleep at the time.

All three wives of a 67-year-old Iranian man took overdoses in an unsuccessful triple suicide bid after the youngest wife sparked jealousy by buying an expensive pair of boots.

A Malaysian man shot his wife dead after he mistook her for a monkey picking fruit behind their house.

A Spaniard tried to have his wife charged with domestic abuse because she refused to have sex with him on five consecutive nights.

Two Italians with the nicknames Bull Shark and Nurse Shark donned bubble-helmet immersion suits to get married in a shark tank.

But from Latin America to Africa, tainted love turned twice to tragedy.

A Mexican man killed his lover in a drunken, drugged fight and then cooked the man's body in tomato and onion sauce and ate it over three days.

And a Zambian man hanged himself in shame after his wife rushed into their house to investigate a noise and found him having sex with a chicken. The chicken was slaughtered afterwards. What did the poor chicken do? I guess that chicken shouldn't have made advances towards the man.

This is proof that the human beings that inhabit this small particle in this vast universe are getting dumber by the second.

Duran Duran sucks ass, by the way.

This Week in Music History:

1957, Fats Domino records "I'm Walkin" in New Orleans ... the song will chart on both the pop and R&B charts, at number four and number one respectively ... this same week, Joe Louis, the former heavyweight boxing champion, appears on The Steve Allen Show to introduce Solomon Burke who sings "You Can Run (But You Can't Hide)," a song written by Louis...

1961, at a New Year's Eve Ritchie Valens Memorial Concert in Long Beach, California, the Beach Boys play for the first time under that name ... they previously had gone under the names Kenny and the Cadets, The Pendletons, and Carl and the Passions...

1962, Brenda Lee has a narrow escape from the flames, dashing into her burning Nashville home in an attempt to rescue her poodle Cee Cee ... Lee is slightly injured, Cee Cee dies from smoke inhalation, and the home is destroyed...

1965, Leo Fender sells Fender Guitars to CBS for $13 million ... he will continue as a consultant to CBS for several years before going on to form Music Man and G&L...

1971, The Beatles officially break up ... Paul files in the London High Court for dissolution of the The Beatles Co. partnership...

1974, Time in a Bottle goes gold ... it is Jim Croce's second gold record in a row since his death in a plane crash months earlier ... a third hit and a fourth will follow ... "Time in a Bottle," "Operator," "I Got a Name," "I'll Have to Say I Love You in a Song," and "Workin' At The Car Wash Blues" were all posthumous Top Ten hits...

1977, the Roxy opens on this first day of the year in London's Covent Gardens with The Clash as headliners, going against a general club ban on punk music ... it will soon be the place for punk...

1979, Bruce Springsteen plays Cleveland on New Year's Eve and gets his cheek torn open when someone, obviously not a big fan, throws a firecracker at the stage...

1980, Larry Williams of "Bony Moronie" is found dead at his home in Los Angeles ... though he has died from a gunshot wound to the head, police will never resolve the suicide-or-murder question...

1982, Steve Van Zandt marries Maureen Santora in Asbury Park ... Bruce Springsteen is the best man, and Percy Sledge and Little Richard sing a duet of "When a Man Loves a Woman" at the reception...

1984, Rick Allen, drummer for Def Leppard, loses his left arm in an auto accident in England but keeps his place in the band ... once he recovers, he adapts his kit and keeps on rockin'...

1985, Rick Nelson dies in an airplane crash along with his fiance and five members of his Stone Canyon Band ... two survive to tell of a fire starting from a defective heater...

1994, Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes pleads guilty to an arson charge for having set fire to and destroying the million-dollar Atlanta mansion of her boyfriend, Atlanta Falcon Andre Rison ... Lopes is sentenced to five years probation and a $10,000 fine ... she and Rison will get back together several times following the incident...

1999, George Harrison and wife Olivia manage to subdue an intruder who has invaded their home ... Harrison is stabbed several times in the process but will recover...

2000, country music legend Kitty Wells, along with her husband Johnny Wright, perform a farewell show before a capacity crowd at the Nashville Night Life Club ... Wells is 81, Wright 86 ... in the house are such Nashville notables as Ricky Skaggs, Connie Smith, and Marty Stuart...

Birthdays:

December 29: Pablo Casals (1876), Ray Thomas of The Moody Blues (1941), Marianne Faithfull (1946), Cozy Powell of the Jeff Beck Group (1947), singer Yvonne Elliman (1951), Glen Phillips of Toad the Wet Sprocket (1970)

December 30: Bo Diddley born Otha Ellis Bates (1928), session picker Red Rhodes (1930), Skeeter Davis born Mary Pennick (1931), rockabilly star Dorsey Burnett (1932), singer-songwriter John Hartford (1937), Paul Stookey of Peter, Paul and Mary (1937), Del Shannon born Charles Westover (1939), Michael Nesmith of the Monkees (1942), Davy Jones of the Monkees (1945), Jeff Lynne of ELO and The Traveling Wilburys (1947), Alex Chilton of The Box Tops and Big Star (1950), Jay Kay of Jamiroquai (1969), Tyrese (1978)

December 31: composer Jule Styne (1905), folk singer Odetta Holmes (1930), Andy Summers of The Police (1942), John Denver born John Deutschendorf (1943), Pete Quaife of The Kinks (1943), Patti Smith (1946), Burton Cummings of The Guess Who (1947), Donna Summer born LaDonna Gaines (1948), Tom Hamilton of Aerosmith (1951), George Thorogood (1952), Scott Ian of Anthrax (1963), Joe McIntyre of New Kids on the Block (1972)

January 1: Xavier Cugat (1900), Country Joe McDonald (1942), Grandmaster Flash (1956)

January 2: Roger Miller (1936), Ten Years After's Chick Churchill (1946), Douglas Robb of Hoobastank (1975), Little Drummer Boy of Immature (1981)

January 3: Beatles producer George Martin (1926), Van Dyke Parks (1941), John Paul Jones (1946), Stephen Stills (1945)

January 4: John McLaughlin (1942), Bernard Sumner of New Order (1956), Patty Loveless (1956), Michael Stipe of R.E.M. (1960), Robin Guthrie of Cocteau Twins (1962), David Glasper of Breathe (1965), Beth Gibbons of Portishead (1965), Deana Carter (1966)

Deaths:

December 29: conductor Takashi Asahina (2001), French singer-songwriter Mireille (1996), Tim Hardin (1980)

December 30: Johnny Moore of The Drifters (1998), Broadway composer Richard Rodgers (1979)

December 31: guitarist Eddie Shaver (2000), Floyd Cramer (1997), Ricky Nelson (1985), bluesman Robert Pete Williams (1980), R&B writer-producer Bert Berns (1967)

January 1: Townes Van Zandt (1997), singer-songwriter Ted Hawkins (1995), Brit blues pioneer Alexis Korner (1984), honky-tonk piano player Moon Mullican (1967), Hank Williams (1953)

January 2: Juan Garcia Esquivel creator of space-age bachelor-pad music (2002), Nat Adderly (2000), producer Nik Venet (1998), David Lynch of the Platters (1981), Larry Williams (1980), Tex Ritter (1974)

January 3: West Coast bluesman Amos Milburn (1980), Beatles roadie Mal Evans (1976)

January 4: balladeer John Gary (1998), Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy (1986)