Part 3

Ugg Boot

1. Men are like .........Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like .......Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ........Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........Government Bonds ....... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ........Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .....Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like ... Snowstorms ...... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like .Parking Spots ........ All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Women, Can't live with 'em.....can't shoot 'em. And now to the important stuff.

LONDON - Scientists have found high levels of arsenic in the hair of King George III and say the deadly poison may be to blame for the bouts of apparent madness he suffered. "What surprised us was there were very high levels of arsenic. Arsenic is also known to push porphyric patients into a worse state," Warren said. The semi-metallic element was found to be at 17 parts per million in the hair. Levels are normally found at less than one part per million.

Today in History

260 St Dionysius begins his reign as Catholic Pope
1298 English defeat Scots at Battle of Falkirk
1587 2nd English colony established on Roanoke Island off NC
1686 City of Albany, NY chartered
1775 George Washington takes command of the troops
1796 Cleveland, Ohio, founded by Gen Moses Cleaveland
1812 Duke of Wellington defeats French at Battle of Salamanca, Spain
1854 J R Hind discovers asteroid #30 Urania
1864 Battle of Atlanta-Hood attacks Sherman & suffers terrible losses
1898 Belgica crew see 1st sunrise in 1600 hrs-1st to endure Antarct winter
1905 Phila Athletic's Weldon Henley no-hits St Louis Browns, 6-0
1908 W Lorenz discovers asteroid #665 Sabine
1912 5th Olympic games in Stockholm closes
1916 A bomb went off during a Preparedness Day parade in SF killing 10
1917 Alexander Kerensky becomes Russian PM
1917 M Wolf discovers asteroids #879 Ricarda, #880 Herba & #881 Athene
1918 Lightning kills 504 sheep in Utah's Wasatch National Park
1923 Walter Johnson becomes the 1st to strikeout 3,000
1925 Yankees purchase infielder Leo Durocher
1926 105ø F (41ø C), Waterbury, Connecticut (state record)
1926 108ø F (42ø C), Troy, New York (state record)
1926 Cin Red Curt Walker ties record of 2 triples in an inning
1930 G Neujmin discovers asteroid #1306 Scythia
1930 H Van Gent discovers asteroids #1666 van Gent, #1752 van Herk &
#1945 Wesselink
1933 Caterina Jarboro sings "Aida," NYC-1st negro prima donna in US
1933 Wiley Post completes 1st round-the-world solo flight
1935 C Jackson discovers asteroids #1359 Prieska & #1360 Tarka
1935 Lester Walton appointed minister to Liberia
1936 Phillies John Moore hits 3 consecutive HRs
1937 Senate rejects FDR proposal to enlarge Supreme Court
1939 1st black woman judge (Jane Matilda Bolin-NYC)
1942 Gasoline rationing begins in US during WW II
1943 Allied forces captured Palermo, Sicily
1944 Soviets set up Polish Committee of National Liberation
1946 Estelle Bennett, rocker (The Ronettes)
1947 -8ø F (-13ø C), Charlotte Pass, NSW (Australian record)
1950 King Leopold, after 6 years in exile, returns to Belgium
1952 Polish constitution adopted (National Day)
1955 1st VP to preside over cabinet meeting-R Nixon
1955 Phillies longest win streak since 1892 hits 11
1962 1st US Venus probe, Mariner 1, fails at lift-off
1962 Chic White Sox Floyd Robinson goes 6 for 6 (all singles)
1963 Sonny Liston KOs Floyd Patterson to retain heavywieght championship
1963 The Beatles release "Introducing the Beatles"
1964 Steve Ballesteros wins the Britsh Golf Open
1967 Atlanta Braves use a record 5 pitchers in the 9th inning
1967 Jimi Hendrix quits as openoing act of the Monkees' tour
1969 Aretha Franklin arrested for disturbing the peace in Detroit
1969 USSR launches Sputnik 50 & Molniya 1-12 communications satellite
1972 27.53 cm (10.84") of rainfall, Fort Ripley, Mn (state 24-hr record)
1972 Venera 8 makes soft landing on Venus
1973 Sue Berning wins her 3rd US Golf Open championship
1975 House of Reps votes to restore citizenship to Gen Robert E Lee
1981 Turkish terrorist Mehmet Ali Agca sentenced in a Rome to life
1982 Academic Text Processing Service established in Seattle
1983 -128ø F (-89ø C) recorded, Vostok, Antarctica (world record)
1983 Dick Smith makes 1st solo helicopter flight around the world
1983 Poland's PM Januzelski lifts martial law
1984 Kathy Whitworth wins a record 85th pro golf tournament
1986 House of Reps impeaches Judge Harry E Claiborne on tax evasion
1987 Said Aouita of Morroco sets the 5k record (12:58.39) in Rome
1987 Soyuz TM-3 launched with 3 cosmonauts (1 Syrian)
1987 US began escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti tankers in Persian Gulf
1988 500 US scientists pledge to boycott Pentagon germ-warfare research
1990 Greg Lemond of US wins bicycling's 3rd tour de France
1990 Nick Faldo of England wins the British Open Golf championship
1991 Jeffrey Dahmer confesses to killing 17 males in 1978

AND IN MUSIC

1965, Bob Dylan's "Like a Rolling Stone" is released ... it turns out to be his biggest hit ever, climbing to number two on the U.S. pop chart...

1968, the album In-a-Gadda-da-Vida from Iron Butterfly debuts on the U.S. charts ... the title track, clocking in at a whopping 17 minutes, features one of the longest drum solos in rock history ... the psychedelic, proto-metal song experiences a slight title change before release: from "In The Garden of Eden" to "In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida" ... the switch was made to match vocalist/keyboardist Doug Ingle's slurred phrasing and because an Atco record exec thought it sounded and looked more Eastern, a trend spurred by the Beatles' and Rolling Stones' flirtations with Eastern spirituality...

1974, Joey Ramone slides out from behind the drum kit and steps up to the mic to assume vocal duties for The Ramones...

1977, Judas Priest begins its first U.S. tour in Oakland, CA, as the opening act for Led Zeppelin...

1980, Back In Black, the new album from AC/DC is released ... it is the band's first album with new singer Brian Johnson ... Johnson joined the band after the untimely, alcohol-driven death of singer Bon Scott, and the album is a Scott tribute of sorts ... released just five months after Scott's death the disc explodes up the charts ... by 1997 it has sold 16 million copies in the U.S. alone...

1986, the film Sid and Nancy premieres at the Limelight Club in London ... the film relates the mostly true biographical tale of Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious and his girlfriend Nancy Spungen ... the raw, dark film culminates in the stabbing death of Nancy, Sid's arrest on suspicion of murder, and his heroin OD shortly thereafter...

1987, Guns 'N Roses debut album, Appetite For Destruction, is released ... while it is known as a landmark album now, it won't start moving significant units or receiving much airplay until MTV puts the video for "Sweet Child o' Mine" into heavy rotation nearly a year later ... after the ballad shoots to the top of the charts, the original lead single from the album, "Welcome to the Jungle," is re-released and hits the Top 10 ... the Top 10 hit "Paradise City" soon follows, as do sold-out arena tours, classic rock star excess, and truckloads of intra-band conflict...

1992, Bruce Springsteen opens his first U.S. tour since 1988 in New Jersey (natch) at The Meadowlands entertainment complex ... he and the E-Street boys will play 11 sold-out shows in the 21,000-seat Brendan Byrne arena, with some of the shows going until one in the morning ... it's good to be the Boss...

1996, Kim Thayil of Soundgarden is arrested for assault and released the same day in North Carolina ... the band had just wrapped up their day as main-stage headliners on the Lollapalooza festival stop at Rockingham Dragway ... from his own mouth: "It wasn't even a fan and it wasn't even at our show. It was in the lobby of our hotel in North Carolina. These people heard that we were staying in the hotel so they're sneaking out to look and they had been drinking so they were a little bit verbally abusive. I told one of them to go away with a twist of the wrist and that was it, just once. It wouldn't have been a big deal had I not been who I am--a guy in a rock band." ... thanks for the clarification, Kim...

2003, Chino Moreno of The Deftones badly pulls his groin muscle during a particularly energetic set at the Hawthorne Racetrack in Chicago on the Summer Sanitarium tour ... after consulting a doctor, the band announces they will miss the Sanitarium stop in Minnesota and two club dates in South Dakota and Montana ... the hope is that a few days' rest will allow the singer to perform at the next Sanitarium stop in Denver later that week...