BREAK OUT THE PIANO

Ugg Boot

This is the week that was in matters musical...

1757, playing clavier for an awestruck Salzburg salon, 11-month old Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stuns listeners with his flawless virtuosity ... the performance is interrupted in the final movement by Wolfgang's own little movement...

1946, up-and-coming semi-pro bowler Robert Moog's life is forever changed when he breaks a wrist and four bones in his right hand in a horrific Scrabble tournament incident ... he is attacked by his opponent after scoring a devastating 45 points on the word "oscillator" and is forced to physically defend himself, resulting in the injuries ... in an effort to alleviate Moog's depression over his inability to grip a bowling ball, his father purchases a Heathkit Electronics Learning Lab...

1959, Jerry Lee Lewis celebrates a week of complete sobriety, free of child-bride marriages and charges of disturbing the peace...

1966, Dunhill Records cancels its "Win a Date With Mama Cass" promotion when no entries are received...

1967, Elvis frees the slaves of Graceland...

1968, more than 200 attending a Jefferson Airplane concert at the Fillmore West in San Francisco are overcome by patchouli fumes...

1969, attending a Grateful Dead show in Binghamton, New York, Deadhead Rollie Schwartz is unable to score acid and is forced to watch the concert straight ... asked for his reaction to the show, Schwartz responds, "What a lame-ass band!"...

1973, following a Las Vegas performance at the Sands, paramedics extricate a sweat-drenched Elvis from his jumpsuit with the Jaws of Life...

1978, the surviving members of Lynyrd Skynyrd issue a limited-edition commemorative wallet-on-a-chain in tribute to their fallen bandmates who died in a tragic plane crash the previous year...

1979, The Economist reports that the cost of funkmeister Rick James' cocaine intake for 1978 exceeds the GNP of Zimbabwe by a ratio of 5 to 4...

1984, William Shatner releases an album of all-original songs inspired by his experiences playing a police officer on the popular TV program T.J. Hooker ... song titles include "Book 'Em Hooker," "The Sergeant and the Lady," "Flashing Lights," and "Hot Pursuit"...

1988, Aerosmith records "Dude Looks Like a Lady" as a tribute to Kenny G...

1989, a 747 jet chartered by the Soul Revue Tour is unable to take off because of excess weight ... those aboard the plane include Aretha Franklin, Solomon Burke, Chaka Kahn, Etta James, and Barry White...

1990, Keith Richards checks into Geneva's Gesundheit Hospital for his semiannual blood exchange and decides to splurge on a glistening liver freshly dug out of a young, teetotaling highway accident victim ... this same week in what would prove to be his last interview with Rolling Stone, Stevie Ray Vaughan credits his musical talent to good genes received from his mother, jazz great Sarah Vaughan...

1991, Madonna announces that although she is only "like" a virgin, she has immaculately conceived Rosie O'Donnell's baby ... the child is mysteriously lost before Rosie denies everything...

1993, the Orlando Sentinel reports that a local Elvis impersonator has signed a management contract with a Colonel Tom Parker impersonator...

1995, Donny Osmond and Ozzy Osbourne host an all-day concert in Las Vegas dubbed Osz Fest ... the pair's vocal duet "Close My Mind Forever" will make it to number 3 on the pop charts ... Marilyn Manson is booked for assault after punching a 10-year-old boy at a Star Trek convention ... Manson, who was dressed as a Vulcan, claims the boy had insulted him in Klingon ... he is released on one million dollars bail and proceeds to trash his hotel room...

1997, plans for a free Rolling Stones concert in San Francisco dubbed Altamont II are scratched when the Hell's Angels decline an offer to handle security ... they have a previous commitment to supply security for The Vibe Awards...

1998, Steve Vai scores big at Paris Fashion Week with his new "'70s Pimp Drag" collection of men's apparel...

1999, in an amazing display of gentle charisma and audience connection, Tiny Tim goes onstage to calm the crowd during a drug and alcohol-fueled riot at Woodstock III...

2000, plans for an episode of VH1's Behind the Music on pop star Britney Spears are scrapped when producers realize there really isn't any music to go behind...

2001, Mariah Carey in her newly released autobiography, Glitter: Not Such a Good Idea, reveals her conviction that in a former life she was Marie Curie ... Creed frontman Scott Stapp is arrested on theft charges in Florida for stealing Eddie Vedder's voice...

2002, velvet-throated crooner Tony Bennett collaborates on a duets album with shock-rocker Marilyn Manson ... the release is titled I Left My Heart in a Seething Pus-Filled Pit ... Kurt Cobain rolls over in his grave as Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst shows off a tattoo of the Nirvana legend on Total Request Live...

2003, proving that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Melissa Etheridge's two children from sperm donor David Crosby are arrested on weapons and drug charges after a high-speed chase through downtown LA ... the kids are four and two...

2004, Ex-Nirvana drummer and Foo Fighter Dave Grohl sets a new record by playing on every single album released in the past year...

2005, Robert Venable, an avowed Dave Matthews Band fan files suit against band ... the Quincy, Illinois resident was among dozens of sightseers aboard a tour boat passing beneath Chicago's Kinzie Street Bridge that were hit by 800 pounds of human waste illegally dumped from a DMB tour bus ... the August 2004 incident triggers considerable embarrassment for the band prompting the DMB to make large donations to environmental groups ... commenting on this most recent development, a band spokesperson says, "We truly regret the incident, especially knowing that the waste hit a fan" ... this same week the Federal Communications Commission decides to take no action on an incident that occurred during Superbowl halftime activities in which Paul McCartney's left breast was briefly visible ... the FCC concludes that the event went unnoticed by millions of viewers...

2006, in a surprise decision, a Los Angles jury acquits record producer Phil Spector in the shooting death of B-movie actress Lana Clarkson ... following the acquittal Spector announces he is planning a bachelor getaway to Tahiti with actor Robert Blake...

2007, pop music sustains a stunning setback when Antares, maker of the pitch-correcting wunderware AutoTune, announces they are closing their doors ... panicking pop performers flood therapists' offices suffering from what is coined "Milli Vanilli Syndrome" ... also this week, a mint-condition copy of Dark Side of the Moon fails to fetch its 25-cent asking price at a Columbus, Ohio yard sale and is placed in the trash...

And that was the April Fool's week that was.

Births:

March 30: John Lee "Sonny Boy" Williamson (1914), Willie Nelson (1933), Graeme Edge of the Moody Blues (1942), Eric Clapton (1945), Jim Dandy Mangrum of Black Oak Arkansas (1948), Procol Harum's Dave Ball (1950), rapper Stanley "M.C. Hammer" Burell (1963), Tracy Chapman (1964), Celine Dion (1968), Norah Jones (1979)

March 31: blues pianist "Big Maceo" Merriweather (1905), Lightning Hopkins (1912), Herb Alpert (1937), R&B performer and songwriter Chuck Willis (1928), Al Nichol of The Turtles (1946), Jon-Jon Poulos of The Buckinghams (1948), Angus Young (1959)

April 1: jazz-blues singer Alberta Hunter (1895), Willie Dixon (1915), bluesman Amos Milburn (1927), singer-actress Debbie Reynolds (1932), Rudolph Isley (1939), Alan Blakely of The Tremeloes (1942), John Barbata of Jefferson Starship (1945), soul man Arthur Conley (1946), Jimmy Cliff (1948), Jeff Porcaro of Toto (1954), Stan Ridgeway of Wall of Voodoo (1955)

April 2: blues sax man J.T. Brown (1910), French pop star Serge Gainsbourg (1928), Marvin Gaye (1939), Leon Russell (1941), Kurt Winter of The Guess Who? (1946), Emmylou Harris (1947)

April 3: Don Gibson (1928), Johnny Horton (1929), R&B/funk guitarist Jimmy Nolen (1934), jazz organist Jimmy McGriff (1936), songwriter Jeff Barry (1939), Jan Berry of Jan & Dean (1941), Joey Vann of The Duprees (1943), Tony Orlando (1944), The Band's Richard Manuel (1945), Elton John bassist Dee Murray (1946), Grand Funk's Mel Schacher (1951), Mike Ness of Social Distortion (1962), Criss Oliva of Savatage (1963)

April 4: Cecil Gant (1913), Muddy Waters aka McKinley Morganfield (1915), writer/actor/dancer/singer/poet laureate Maya Angelou (1928), Tiny Tim (1930), Margo Sylvia of The Tune Weavers (1936), trumpeter Hugh Masekela (1939), soulman Major Lance (1941), Tangerine Dream's Christophe Franke (1942), Allman Brothers' Berry Oakley (1948), Dire Straits' Pick Withers (1948), The Faces' Ronnie Lane (1948), Peter Haycock of Climax Blues Band (1952), Humble Pie's Jerry Shirley (1952)

April 5: The Platters' Tony Williams (1928), Leroy Griffin of The Nutmegs (1934), Fairport Convention's Dave Swarbrick (1941), David LaFlamme of It's a Beautiful Day (1941), Eric Burdon (1941), Allan Clarke of the Hollies (1942), Crispin St. Peters (1944), Agnetha Faltskog of ABBA (1948), Everett Morton of The English Beat (1951), Dream Theater's James LaBrie (1963), Michael McCready of Pearl Jam (1964)

Deaths:

March 30: Doors producer Paul Rothschild (1995)

March 31: Jeffrey Lee Pierce of The Gun Club (1996), Tejano singing star Selena (1995), O'Kelly Isley of the Isley Brothers (1986), Big Dee Irwin of The Pastels (1986)

April 1: Zombies guitarist Paul Atkinson (2004), rock 'n' roll pioneer Jesse Stone (1999), Rozz Williams of goth band Christian Death (1998), soul singer Jimmy Hughes (1997), Sister Luc-Gabrielle AKA The Singing Nun (1985), Marvin Gaye (1984), Scott Joplin ( 1917)

April 2: Rob Pilatus of the disgraced Milli Vanilli (1998), session guitarist Cliff White (1998), organist Joe Madison (1995), Buddy Rich (1987)

April 3: session sax man Alvin "Red" Tyler (1998), Roosevelt "Booba" Barnes (1996), Sarah Vaughan (1990)

April 4: songwriter Kurt Weill (1950)