Blahahahahahahahaha

Ugg Boot

Crack Found on
Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]


Something Went Wrong
in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]


Police Begin Campaign
to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]


Is There a
Ring of Debris
around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]


Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]


Miners Refuse
to Work
after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]


Juvenile Court to
Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope
for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]

Cold Wave Linked
to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple
Slain; Police
Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]


Red Tape Holds
Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]


Man Struck By Lightning
Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity
Looks for Larger
Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes
Blame for Gas
in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]


Kids Make
Nutritious
Snacks

[Taste like chicken?]