I Traveled Each and Every Byway..

Ugg Boot

Reason not to drink #1

A mother's deathbed confession led police on Thursday to a dead body in a storage locker freezer, and officials said the corpse may be that of the woman's husband whom she murdered more than a decade ago. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!!!

Thieves have stolen scantily clad garden gnomes from a gnome peepshow in an eastern German amusement park.

Reason not to drink #2

More than 10 tons of Chinese-made plastic toy bricks will go up in smoke when the largest customs haul of illegal imitation Legos ever seized is incinerated. Hey!!!! Leggo of my Lego's!!!


A disgruntled British father handcuffed himself to a government minister on Friday in a bid to draw attention to a campaign for divorced fathers' rights. Divorced fathers don't have any rights.

Reason not to drink #3

Overdue Books Could Bring Jail Time. Watch out Paul. Ms. Casear's coming.

The boss of a small Moldovan club has been fined $2,000 (1,080 pounds) for driving his jeep on to the pitch and trying to run over the referee after a disputed penalty. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Reason not to drink #4

A cafeteria food fight on "meat loaf day" led to the suspension of the entire eighth-grade class at a Memphis school. I love Meatloaf. Sing with me ....."Paradise by the dashboard lights" or what about "I would do anything for love, I'd run right into hell and back..."

Hooters of America and a rival restaurant chain began arguing in federal court over who has rights to the concept of using scantily clad women to sell food and beer. I like hooters. Not just American Hooters. I like em all. I think Owls are very cool creatures. So if you have 'em, show 'em to me. Show me your hooters!!!!! hahahahaha

Reason not to drink #5

A hand-me-down dish used for crab dinners fetched a record $5.7 millionin an auction this week, after art experts determined it was extremely rare Ming dynasty porcelain. And it only cost 25 cents at the garage sale. That's only a 22 million percent profit.



Disabled dolphin jumping again with world's first artificial fin. That's cool.

Reason not to drink #6

A group of Greek lawyers are threatening to sue Warner Bros film studios and Oliver Stone, director of the widely anticipated film "Alexander," for suggesting Alexander the Great was bisexual. First of all, sex within the same sex wasn't frowned upon in Alexander the great's time. According to the History channels History of Sex, it was very rare to find a male who didn't have regular sexual expierences with other men and the same for women. It was very common and upfront.

Reason not to drink #7

When Anthony Crown texted a methamphetamine offer, he did not know his client was sitting in a Wellington police station having just been arrested for burglary. He too be an ideot!!!!

A deer smashes into a car and thrashes its way into the front seat where it fires up both the radio and wipers. It may sound like a tall tale some guy cooked up to explain to his wife the smashed up car parked out front, but it is also absolutely true.

Reason not to drink #8

Norwegian Senior Roughs Up Purse Snatcher. Go boy go!

Police had help in tracking down a robbery suspect ... from the suspect. Police Chief Tom Casady said officers investigating a Nov. 11 robbery had a strong clue in a $75 check from the Cass County Jail to 39-year-old Kevin Martzett. He's an ideot.

Reason not to drink #9

You know, Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Check this out.Things you can ONLY say at Thanksgiving. (thanks jane)

01. Talk about huge breasts!

02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

03. It's Cool Whip time!

04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

05 Whew, that's one terrific spread!

06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

07. Are you ready for seconds yet?

08. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in? .

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

Today in history:
461 - St. Hilarius becomes Pope. And who says Catholics don't have a sense of humor.

1493 - Christopher Columbus becomes the first European to go ashore on an island he only saw for the first time the day before. He names it San Juan Bautista (later renamed Puerto Rico).

1863 - American Civil War: Union President Abraham Lincoln delivers the Gettysburg Address at the military cemetery dedication ceremony in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. The Gettysburg Address is as follows:
108 Scott Street
Gettysburg, Pa. 54678

1924 - In Los Angeles, California, famous silent film director Thomas Ince ("The Father of the Western") dies of a heart attack in his bed (rumors soon surface that he was shot dead by publishing tycoon William Randolph Hearst). Wouldn't a bullet hole be a clue?

1953 - Paul Whalen , born at age 9 months. What?

1959 - Ford Motor Company announces the discontinuation of the unpopular Edsel.

1969 - Apollo program: Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean land at Oceanus Procellarum ("Ocean of Storms") and become the third and fourth humans to walk on the Moon.

1977 - Transportes Aereos Portugueses Boeing 727 crashes in Madeira islands killing 130

1984 - A series of explosions at the PEMEX petroleum storage facility at San Juan Ixhuatepec in Mexico City ignites a major fire and kills about 500 people. Fireworks. Cool.

1985 - Cold War: In Geneva, US President Ronald Reagan and Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev meet for the first time.

1997 - In Carlisle, Iowa, Bobbi McCaughey gives birth to septuplets in the second known case where all seven babies were born alive. What a hole, what a hole. Oh wait. I put this after the wrong story. See the year 1924 above.

1998 - Lewinsky scandal: The United States House of Representatives' Judiciary Committee begins impeachment hearings against US President Bill Clinton.

1998 - Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard" sells at auction for US$71.5 million.

2004 - The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie debuts at cinemas nationwide.

2004 - Extreme Caution band plays Cactus Jacks in Ruston, La. at 8:30 PM.

Birthdays:
1600 - King Charles I of England (d. 1649)

1831 - James A. Garfield, 20th President of the United States (d. 1881)

1905 - Tommy Dorsey, bandleader (d. 1956)

1917 - Indira Gandhi, prime minister of India (d. 1984)

1933 - Larry King, television interviewer

1935 - Rashad Khalifa, imam, stabbed to death (d. 1990)

1936 - Dick Cavett, talk show host

1942 - Calvin Klein, clothing designer

1961 - Meg Ryan, American actress

1962 - Jodie Foster, American actress

1966 - Jason Scott Lee, actor