Redneck Pickup Lines

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I play in a band that plays in mostly country redneck bars. Before you get offended, let me just say.... I can call it redneck because I'm a redneck. Here are some of the lines I heard this weekend:

1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

3) My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"

Woman - "WHAT?"

Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.